Blazblue: Kitsune's revenge
by The Swordslinger
Summary: Hazama, what if he had a reason to be evil? What if he used to be Uzumaki Naruto? The answer: Konoha is going to be trolled, hard. BIG harem, main pairing being trio with Hinata and FemSasu. Jiraiya, Sandaime, Kiba, Kakashi, Sakura bashing
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING, so blame The Viral Plague for giving me this idea

Now, sorry for deleting the old one and posting it again here, but sadly it didn't come out for some reason, and some of you might have noted the site didn't find it for whatever bullshit. So here, once again and with the same name

Note: A scary thing? For some reason I can always picture myself as Hazama laughing madly, thus why I write him as good as I do… it makes me wonder, are we somehow related? I know it's stupid since he's a fictional character, but it is as if he's my dark side when I want to cause mayhem in my fics, like this one. I dunno, but I see me and Hazama like birds of the same feather, notice how good I portray him in my fics?

Another important note: Expect Fem Sasuke (If you wonder why it's because Sasuke bashing is 'oh so original' nowadays that I decided to take a better course, make him a likeable tough chick), Fem Nibi, Fem Shukaku, Fem Gaara, and Fem Kyuubi, but no more.

Konoha is getting THE heaviest trolling ever and bashing, so of course vicious aggression will like this fic

**XXXXXX**

Trolls laugh last

There was a blond was tied down to a chair in a maximum security prison, held down by a lot of chains that drained him of his energy. He had saved one of his teammates from deserting and going to a traitor in seek for power, and while he expected to be seen as a hero, that was not to be. His 'gramps' who he thought dead was quite alive, having faked his death to ensure the boy's loyalty to the village and even laughed right at his face about it:

"You should of seen your face, you demon brat!" the old man laughed loudly "As I enjoyed my early retirement you cried and sobbed about me while I used you as a weapon, my own little meat puppet… a pity that you beat the Uchiha… now I'll have to kill you to calm the village. But oh well, no one expected you to be Hokage, we'd have killed you before letting you touch the hat. And what's better… if your slut of a godmother tries to break you out of this prison, I'll just have to snap my fingers and kill you with the seal I put in you to stop your heart"

However, despite this revelation which the old man used to see the boy in despair, said boy sneered "I always thought you were a coward, why, you were never able to actually kill Orochimaru… you'd first suck his dick than save your own fucking life, just like you do with the assholes in the village!"

The old monkey grew angry and began to beat the boy, however said kid didn't react to the pain to further anger the old fart, seeing that the bastard sneered and had to leave. But the worst part was the beatings he got fter that one from everyone that hated his guts, meaning almost everyone in the hellhole they called an 'honorable' village…and a lot of his visits were less pleasants than the last one:

"Damn you brat! You could have killed the Uchiha!" the boy's godfather yelled as he punched the kid in his cell.

"Well… fuck you, actually, fuck you and this village of traitors and liars, you perverted old fart! I'd rather die than breathe the same air as some horny asshat who passes his life peeping on women due to his lack of life! You wanna know why my godmother loves me instead of you? Because you would throw everything away for your perverted antics!" the boy shouted in his exhausted state before getting another punch in the kisser.

He was getting weaker by the day, the food they had given him made trash look like a king's feat. In fact, he was doing his very best to stay alive as he had received a lot more beatings before this one. The kid was much stronger than he let on. But he wished to get friends so in order to do that he attempted to act as weak as possible. But none of that mattered now that he knew the truth behind this village full of lies.

"I knew you should have been killed the instant you were born! Now, the council is calling on your blood and I for once agree with them. You are too immature and weak to hold the Kyuubi, so in a few days we will hold a public execution of you so we can finally get rid of you, your monster! And not even Tsunade will be able to stop it since the Daimyo has given us, the real shinobi, more than the permission, he has also vanished that slug bitch after hearing she sided with you, disgusting monster" the perverted asshole responded.

"But you didn't kill me when you had the chance, thinking you and htis village could use and throw me away like a weapon, which shows how much of an idiot you all are since I'll NEVER be a weapon for some arrogant idiots like all of you!" the boy said before getting a punch that knocked him out.

Later, the boy's sensei came. He had very unsavory words to say to the kid as well. In truth, he thought of the blond as the Kyuubi all along and the reason why his old teammates and sensei were dead. Naruto simply listened to the bastard's hate filled rants before replying:

"Oh shut your pie hole, mutt!" he barked angrily "If I were the fox then I'd have destroyed this village, and with a damn good god given right to do so. Hell, I think even the Fourth would of suicide himself if he weren't so stupid to do so, his brain must have been fucking dead to think this village was worth shit!" then came unconscious thanks to another punch.

And sadly, there came to the bitch who gave herself like the slut she was to the teammate the boy saved. Oh, how the bitch gloated on how the kid was going to die a criminal for completing his mission while her crush, the one who he brought back, would be as free as a bird and how the blond would soon be remembered as a loser and always will be, she was shallow, calling the kid an abomination because the people said so, calling the kid a pathetic demon that the guy she worshiped could always best easily. This was his rebuttal:

"Why do you think I should give two shits about what you think? If I had known you were such a pathetic bitch I'd have killed you the first time I saw you, slowly and painfully. I'd actually had been doing the world a favor by wrapping your disgusting guts in my fist!" he shouted with so much rage that the bitch ran out of the place with a yellow liquid flowing between her legs.

Even worse there was a mutt bastard that went on to tell him that he was going to marry the only person who had truly loved the blond for who he was, a cute and innocent bluenette with pearly eyes, within three years, and how the elders of the girl's clan were in the middle of making a cage bird seal that only he could control. The kid would have torn the mutt apart if he could, but he settled with words:

"You are such a stupid, motherfucking piece of shit it'd be downright an insult to compare you with something. You want to know why Hinata loves me and not you? It is because I can see her as a person, and I may not see her again, but I know she'll kick your ass again and again if you ever tried to touch her…" at that part he saw the mutt flinch, and seeing that he smirked "Oh, so I'm right, huh? Well, damn, I knew Hinata had it in her… and now I see you here, truly afraid of her. So what's the matter, weren't you all confident and cocky before, you damn mutt? So you need a seal to beat a girl so you can get laid by raping her, huh? Damn, I knew you WERE pathetic, but this adds a whole new level! Hehehe... hahahahahaha... AHAHAHAHAHA!"

He laughed and laughed, the mutt couldn't do a thing after such humiliation so he ran off in anger.

Then came an asshole that nearly killed one of the very few people who truly loved him, who had recently recovered from his operation, thought that since he was a demon nobody could break fate and that he was lying when he said otherwise. And the girl's father said so too, calling him an abomination that tried to defy fate only to be brought down because of its uselessness.

To those two he replied venomously: "Once we meet in wherever we go after death… I'll shove a sword right through your fate loving asses and show you what true despair means" the asshats just laughed right on his face and gave him monologues of how futile it was to defy fate… however their shivering forms didn't make it all that convincing.

Some, however, did take his side.

A very fat kid did out of principle because he was not one to abandon friends just because they had something sealed inside of them.

A man in green spandex and his mini-me tried to help him out, but sadly were forced out because of the council being so corrupt and hell bent on killing the kid it was of no use, the only thing they could do was talk to him about how 'unyouthful' this was.

A bun haired cute girl, due to her constant usage of sealing scrolls, knew the difference between a scroll and the Kunai within it and tried to hug the kid in order to provide some comfort to him, sadly the blond was almost as dead as he'd be in the not so far away future, not showing any emotion to her.

A girl with blond platinum hair sobbed hardly, not believing someone as sweet as him could be a demon, even going as far as trying to help him out, only to hear the sad truth about how the kid would die because of the seals put in him, the poor girl could only cry more before running away.

A shady guy thought it was 'illogical' to think that the boy was the Kyuubi because if he were he would have wiped the village off the face of the Earth by now, and the boy felt that should have been done a long time ago.

A boy lazier than a snail could ever be, being as smart as ever, knew the kid was not the Kyuubi, and even asked why he was not even trying to break out with its power. To which he got only one simple reply "You're the genius, Shikamaru. You know when you can't win even if you stop being a lazy ass" Those were the kid's exact words.

Then came those who truly loved him the most.

The boy's godmother entered the cell and hugged him tightly, crying her eyes out and sobbing lightly. She had finally been told of her relationship with the blond, but she couldn't do a thing because the bastard of his godfather not only made her know she was vanished from the village but even revealed her that the boy's body was filled with seals to kill him if he ever got out, making it impossible for her to get him out because he'd be dead either if she fought the bastards head-on or grabbed him and ran like hell, because they'd know one way or another thanks to the tracking seals they put as extra measure in the kid…The poor woman was a crying mess at her hopelessness, the only thing silencing her was the last kiss she got from the boy she loved before she left, never to return back to the village, cursing it and everyone in it that corrupted it.

The second one was towards the 'boy' he saved. The raven haired kid had put on a privacy seal, telling the guards that 'he'd' be using an illusion to torture the blond more and wanted privacy, the loyal ass-kissers did as ordered, and once no one saw them the 'boy' put HER hands on a seal as a puff of smoke enveloped her, showing she had her hair down, though the usual bangs on the side of her face remained, her shirt that he saw was baggy, had the faint showing of at least a b-cup, and while she still had her usual clothes, she actually looked good in them.

"Naruto…my real name is Uchiha Satsuki, I've kept living this fake life to ensure those bastards in the council don't use me as a breeding machine…and now…for my fault…you….you…" she couldn't say another word and hugged the blond, crying into him. One would be amazed at that, but the blond was unsurprised…and actually smirking.

"I knew a long time ago about this…" he said, shocking the girl, and he continued "I'm not as much of a loser as you think… I did see you peeping on me some times… so I investigated… and let me tell you, you have a nice body" he said with a lot of effort and a smirk, his exhaustion and lack of food making him feel very close to death… but oh boy did he feel a lot lively when he got kissed by the girl who cried her eyes out.

"You…loser…I always loved you!" she cried both in anger at what he said and sadness of how she was going to lose him. She then turned away "I-I'll be going now, I'll tell the guards you're under an illusion and that you won't feel pain due to it… at least that ought to save you some pain" she said sadly as she re-applied her fake persona's impersonation and walked away, not having the courage to see her love face to face after all of that, but making the blond smirk and silently thank the girl for at least helping him that way.

Then the third was for the cute azure haired girl who saw him as the hero he was. She had tearfully spoken with her heart "Naruto-kun…I've always loved you, you've always given me the strength and courage I needed when I was too weak, you showed me how to be a better person, how to be stronger, how to fight those who oppress others…I wanted to be like you, but I know I can't be you and for that I'll be as strong as I can on my own…to be by your side when we meet again in the afterlife"

After hearing them the boy gave her a small smile for comfort and told her, "There is no need for tears Hinata-chan. Thank you for caring for me. That alone means the world to me. If you wish to have me happy in the next world then live Hinata-chan. Live in happiness so I may be happy for you…and do tell this to the Uchiha 'Naruto sent me to help you'…you both will need to work together for what is sure to come. You'll need this too, to avoid being with the mutt" she was confused at first until the boy told her of the actually female Uchiha's situation, and a plan to keep both safe from the village.

Then she kissed him, but unlike the others she did not dare to let go of his lips for dear life, neither did him, both showing affection in that passionate session of love before having to pull for air…right when the poor girl's time for visiting the blond ended…but unlike the other times the boy smiled, still feeling her warmth as well as the other girls'… at least he'd die happy.

Then the day of the execution came far too quickly to the kid. And the executioner was someone he now felt a lot more of hatred against.

"We are gathered here today to see the execution of Uzumaki Naruto on charges of assaulting and attempted murder of a Leaf comrade! Here he shall die and forever be branded as a traitor to our honorable village! And in order to get rid of this demon forever we shall damn him to hell where he belongs and make sure we never see him, the goddamned Kyuubi!" Hiruzen yelled as he stood on the top of the Hokage Tower with a cheering crowd watching below. It was raining that day, as if the sky was crying for the soon-to-be death of the kid. The blond was standing in shackles on top of the tower for all to see, those who loved him did not want to see him die like this, at the hands of cowards and hypocrites. He then saw out of the corner of his eye the old monkey picking up the sword that was to execute him. "Any last words, demon scum?" the old man sneered.

The kid sighed and nodded, "Only this. Despite all the injustices this place has done to me I do have something to say, you old fart…" Naruto then smirked "If I even tried to strike back from all those insults I would be no better than the pathetic pile of shit that you are, weaklings with no real power who need to use insults to feel better" then the boy smirked at Hiruzen an insane smile before shouting with pure hatred, all while still smiling "So go on! You stupid old monkey! Show me some hatred! You and this village are nothing but lies, lies, lies, LIES! So when we meet in Hell I'll just fucking laugh at your faces about how stupid and retarded you all were for thinking some god favored your sorry asses! Hahahahahahahaha!"

Hiruzen then screamed in rage before stabbing the sword through the kid's back and out of his chest right where the heart was. Darkness then consumed his vision as he fell to the side. But one thing would be remembered and loathed by all the people who hated the kid.

Uzumaki Naruto died laughing at them.

XXXXXX

"It's over, Terumi!" a man in a red stylish jacket shouted as he stabbed a man in a fine suit with a fedora, who promptly fell to the floor, bleeding heavily from his wound.

However, the man, even if he was dying, let out a dry chuckle "Heh… funny thing, Rags… you and I aren't… that different…"

"Shut up and die already, you little worm, I don't need to hear your excuses now that you're finally going to die" the man replied as he glared down at the man with the fedora, who chuckled again.

"Come on… old buddy… you know me better than that…Urgh…" Terumi said before spitting some blood, and then grinned again "Ever wondered why I wanted this world dead so badly…? Hehe… here's a… hint… you weren't… the only one… who got treated like shit… hahaha… Funny thing, Rags… really… I made you suffer… like I did… and yet you remained sane… even with friends… but, me? Hah… what I had was…. Just…. li… es…"

And with those last words Yuki 'Hazama' Terumi died… or did he?

XXXXXX

"Huh?"

The ghost, now in his real appearance, a black featureless body, stood in what seemed a white void room, no life in it, just endless white… and seeing that there lacked three chairs he could only go and guess where the fudge he was. If this was heaven then God must be screwed up for letting someone as twisted as him in, if this was Hell… it was less smelly than what he thought it'd be, and since he was alone then this couldn't be the in-between, Purgatory, because there'd be a lot more souls wandering around to atone for their sins.

"Maybe this is Hell" the ghost thought out loud "No one here to entertain me or for me to make suffer… just pathetic solitude…"

"**Please turn around**" said a voice which was too deep to be female but too high-pitched to be male, somewhere in between.

The featureless body did so and thus found an unusual sight… a… figure, for the lack of a better word. It was like Hazama's true form, only taller, having less features without the smile, the eye or the green veins-like insides. Instead the figure possessed only darkness and not a sign of being either man or woman.

Then, moving one of its 'hands' the figure motioned for the ghost to come closer, which he reluctantly did "Soooo, where the fuck am I?" Hazama said plain and simple to get to the point.

"**This place brings back any memories to you?**" the figure asked out of the blue… and it was then that Hazama noted the three chairs laying behind it.

The ghost's smile grew even wider "Oh yeah! This was where I made those three asshats my bitches, took their power, and just fucked up their lives for the rest of eternity thanks to a virus… oh, good old times!" he said in merriment.

The figure nodded "**You actually did us a great good**"

"Us?" the ghost echoed "Care to tell me for once why am I here and who the hell are you?"

The figure nodded again "**My apologies. My name is Delta-034-SR, and I'm what many call on overseer**"

Had the ghost any eyebrows they'd be up "So, one of the legendary monitors of all existence is here for little old me?" the figure nodded "Heh, before this I thought I'd be kissing my ass sayonara, so just tell me what ya want for once" Hazama said with a bit of impatience, he was always the kind to go for fun, not policies.

"**Of course. I am one of the many units regulating the endless realms of existence, and you, Hazama, are one of the souls we've been watching much more carefully**" getting and from the interested ghost to continue, the figure explained further "**While our purpose is to keep the corruption of all worlds to a minimum, you became so damaged by it that we thought your very own soul would be broken apart. However, we were surprised to see you not only endured it but even used that corruption as the fuel to your very own power, even more given your life as Na-**"

"Shut up!" Hazama barked, his smile gone and replaced by a frown as his only eye narrowed "I don't go by that name anymore, and I'll NEVER will. There is a reason why I used the name Yuki Terumi, and another why I changed it to Hazama… I hate lies…"

The figure was unaffected by the outburst, not showing any emotions, though it nodded and bowed in an apology "**My apologies, that'll never happen again. However, due to your… previous life's end we began to watch and observe your actions. We were truly fascinated although disturbed too. You became a being of such pure evil we thought of ending you existence… but your purpose stopped us from doing so. You destroyed the three beings who controlled the world you lived as Hazama like tyrants, and your purpose, while twisted, was to end the existence of a world that was truly cruel and evil… you didn't want to destroy any world but that one, your only true goal was the end of that world's existence…or more precisely, that place**"

"The Leaf" Hazama finished for the figure in a dark tone as his 'face' took a more thoughtful expression "…What does that place has to do with me anymore? I don't want anything to do with it. I enjoyed so much torturing Ragna, that cat bitch, the whole damn world and my little meat puppets because there was NO better way to unleash my anger… and I'll admit, I had one GREAT time doing it all"

The figure nodded again "**However, that place is so filled with corruption that it has to cease to exist. But the few souls that are there and deserve a chance is our main concern. If that world ends existing then so would those souls… and thus we've decided to do what should be done… Hazama, it's time for you to utterly destroy the lies of this universe**"

Hazama was silent for a few seconds, before it clicked to him and his eye grew wide "…W-Whoa, whoa! You don't mean…"

"**We're sending you back to the Elemental Nations, the world were you were born before your soul, corrupted by the hatred in that place, became the very being who you are now**"

"And you are not alone"

Hazama turned and when he did he was truly surprised at who he saw there. She had long fiery red hair that reached her lower back, she was about 5' 8'' tall and she had an hourglass figure with a nice round butt and DD sized breasts held in a royal crimson kimono that showed a nice part of them. She had cute dainty feet and long sexy legs, and nine swaying red tails coming from her tail bone. Looking to her face the ghost's breath hitched, she was breath taking… and she was a sight he had missed for far too long.

"Y-Yoko?" he asked in shock, before the vixen ran at him and hugged his featureless body.

The vixen tightened her grip and began to sob "I-I missed you so much, kit… oh Kami… I'm so… sorry for not being with you…" she said as tears flowed from her eyes.

Hazama did something he'd never normally do, he soothed the vixen as he ran his 'hand' through her hair "I've missed you too, baby"

He had met her, loved her, gotten along with her. Had it not been by her he'd have taken a 'training' session under the perverted bastard who betrayed him. She gave him power, strength and wisdom when he needed them to beat the arrogant bastard who beat the first girl to truly love him for who he was. After that victory both grew quite close, and he was unlimitedly thankful to her for making sure he didn't get 'humbled' by learning shit from the asshole of a pervert and losing to the stuck up bastard so his 'gramps' could brainwash him into a weapon by giving him 'power' and shit for eternal loyalty to a traitorous village. She had been with him until his death, and not even afraid of dying if she was by his side.

Hazama gently pushed the vixen aside and then turned to the overseer and spoke clearly "What is it you need me to do?"

Delta nodded "**You are, for the lack of a better word, the necessary evil to bring a world out of its corruption. We've kindly dubbed you the Calamity Trigger. And as your title says, we'll let you be free to cause untold chaos in order to bring the Elemental Nations into its needed peace**"

Hazama growled "You know I'll be sending a lot of people to Hell even if they just look badly at me, right?"

Delta nodded once again "**We've counted on that… and yes, they are all going to Hell to suffer and pay for their sins**"

Hazama smiled as he hugged the vixen close to him, getting a blush and smile from her as he laughed long and hard "GYAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, now you're talking my language!" he then gave an evil grin "Gehehehe… hahahahahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm gonna gut them like fishes and force them to eat their own intestines, and that is NOT even the beginning! Hahahahaha!"

Yoko shivered at the closeness to her favorite person, her being a demoness meant she had her evil side… and seeing someone so evil and being such beast about it… she wasn't shivering from fear.

Delta remained unfazed, like the sort of robot he was, before nodding "**Understood. However, you'll need a new body, your former was destroyed by Ragna the Bloodedge**"

And with a snap of his fingers, Delta made appear a whole new person in the ghost's place. The body was like Hazama's old one, however he had blond spiky hair falling in a sort of mop haircut like his former hairstyle, his eyes were not shut anymore, but were still narrowed in a reptilian way… and his gaze was one of poor malice with golden orbs that stared at his surroundings with slit pupils, his same old eyes.

His clothes were almost the same as the ones he wore before, except that the black coat made of fine silk was replaced by a green long sleeved kimono, the same shade of green as his ethereal snakes. And, reaching up, Hazama was pleasantly surprised to find his good old hat. That piece of silk was a part of him, it was the home of his freaking Stand (Google Jojo's Bizarre Adventure for the info). Don't believe me? Notice that when he summons his BFS (Big Fucking Snake) his hat disappears.

Delta bowed to Hazama like a butler and explained "**Taking bits of your first body's residual existence and your last one I've managed to fuse them and make a body suitable for the fights awaiting you and so you can get used better, easier and faster to the world where you once lived. You also posses your old weapons and your Ouroboros at your command as well as the power you once had toutterly crush those who made you suffer. Are you ready?**"

Hazama half-listened as he played with one of his butterfly knives, before smirking that evil snake like smile of his before grabbing Yoko once again, the vixen liking this appearance of him didn't think twice to hug his arm tightly with a large a smile and a small blush as the God of Trolling said the words that would seal the Leaf's end:

"I think it's fucking obvious. It is time I showed those shitty bastards the truth, the truth called DESPAIR! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**XXXXXX**

**And that's a rap!**

**Konoha is screwed! But our blond troll god has some unfinished business with all of the lie covered world! Now give me an evil troll alugh, all of you! Hahahahahahaha!**

**Swordslinger out!**


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING, and thus why I pray to Iwashitari-sama to give me his wisdom in the ways of entertainment… he made Hazama, so he does answer my prayers rather well

**XXXXXX**

Time to have fun

The new and improved God of Trolling stepped forward as he looked up to the sign in front of him… the Great Naruto Bridge.

"Heh… even after what I did to good old Rags here people loved me…" he said mirthfully, before realization dawned upon him "Oh fuck! I should of brought that flea bitten mutt with me, the look on his face would be priceless!" Remember people, he is a troll, meaning that his life and existence are based in making someone enraged.

"**Sounds like you've had your fun while you were gone**" Yoko said inside his head as the troll god walked around aimlessly "**By the way… I watched all of your actions**…" she said with a sadness that actually made our dear troll feel for her.

He put his hand to his hat and another around the vixen to bring her closer "I did what I thought was necessary… and you know the truth behind my actions. I decided to be a monster if I could just erase the existence of **that** place"

"**And it is for that that I'll be with you until the very end**" Yoko said as she sighed in his mind, making him smile "**So what now, where are we going?**"

Hazama remained thoughtful for a bit, before smirking "I got a few debts to get repaid by a lot of my good old 'friends'… so I think I'll go with the bastards that have less to more importance and leave the good old Leaf for last, and have a lot of fun doing so" he then smirked predatorily, not like a snake, but like a sadistic fox "And what a better way to start than to making a certain snake know what it means to suffer"

XXXXXX

(Sound Village – Orochimaru's HQ)

The base was deadly quiet as a lot of the former shinobi there were nothing but corpses on the floor, and in the middle of it stood the former Sound Four, all of them very badly beaten and tied up in the floor as they could only wait for their destiny. And to their horror, in front of them was none other than the traitorous Sannin that made their lives the very hell they are living now with his loyal puppy and in tow, as usual.

Orochimaru sneered at them "You should count yourselves graceful I need a new body" he said as he paced back and forth around them "Still, having seen all of you kill your fellow shinobi was quite entertaining, but I needed results"

"You fucking dick-shit!" Tayuya roared, tears of fear falling but not stopping her rage "You just made them try to murder us so you could choose one of us as your sex toy. Well, you can go and suck whatever dick you suck, you fucking son of a bitch! I'd rather bite my tongue and drown on my own blood than let my body be used by a cum sucking decrepit bastard like you!"

The snake however took her insults in stride and laughed "If this is because of me using Kin as a sacrifice in my battle against the Hokage… then you are not worthy of serving me. The whole point of these villages is to make me immortal, to make me the perfect being. All you can die and I will not care… at least as long as none of you are the body I'll need to live in" he then smiled evilly at the pouty mouthed redhead "And since you are so feisty I think I should use yours since my time's almost up"

"Don't you dare fucking touch me, you asshole!" the girl shouted once more, despite the horror in her face and the tears in her eyes "Come one step closer and I'll bite my tongue and drown on my own blood and let you to rot as the piece of shit that your mind is made of!" she said, and when the snake did take the step she opened her mouth to really kill herself. She'd rather be dead than suffer more at the hands of that snake, but they wouldn't let her be free…

"Now, now, when Orochimaru-sama wants something you give it to him" Kabuto said behind her as he put a kunai's handle in her mouth so she didn't bite her tongue.

Now Tayuya was truly terrified, she could only close her eyes and-

*Clap*

Clap…? Everyone turned their attentions to a tall man in a fine black grayish suit with an open green kimono acting as a coat, a fine fedora hat atop his blond head and a sadistic smile accompanied by the most evil eyes ever seen with slit pupils in those golden orbs that seemed more toxic than true venom hidden beneath his hat's brim. Had they seen his yellow eyes they would of shit themselves at the evil in this man. However the man kept on clapping at a slow, mocking pace with that smile still on his face; if one were to see his eyes then that somehow friendly smile would have turned insane and sadistic.

"And here I always thought you were that snake's boy toy, but to see you as such a submissive bitch… well, as I've always said, trash will always be trash" the man said in a mirthful tone.

Kabuto growled but said nothing as Orochimaru spoke "How did you enter this place?"

Hazama grinned "That was easy… I just have a great sense of deduction, incredible detective skills and just a lot of luck" he said as if he talked about of the weather… before he started to laugh "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Juuuuuuuust kidding! Actually, I know this place thanks to a certain vixen with me and her sense of smell. I guess it is true what they say, behind of all men there's a great woman… though I doubt that counts you sick bastard with your twisted tastes" he said with his grin getting more mocking as Yoko smiled in his mind at the praise and giggled at the jab.

"Don't you dare insult Orochimaru-sama!" Kabuto roared as he lunged at the man in the suit, who just put a hand to his hat.

The instant Kabuto attempted to cut some of Hazama's veins with his chakra scalpels the medic ninja had to backpedal when a green energy field surrounded the blond man. Hazama just simply gave him an "Idiot!" before kicking Kabuto right in the face, breaking his glasses as well as his nose. Hazama took great pleasure to see Kabuto squirm on the ground in pain while rolling around, a hand on his eyes which were now covered in cuts by the broken lenses of his glasses.

Then, feeling the need to make him pay, Hazama reeled back his feet before painfully smashing Kabuto's face, sending him flying back to Orochimaru, making the silver haired medic nin scream in much more pain as the crystal shards of his broken glasses drove themselves even deeper in his crushed eyeballs.

"Hyehehehehehe! Oh, isn't this just pathetic!" Hazama laughed to put salt to the injury, half-literally "You'd think I'd go in here and boast without knowing I can beat you and your stupid bastard of a master to a bloody pulp? Who do you think I am, my former self?"

"Who are you?" Orochimaru asked, though with a grin on his face as he eyed Hazama, who he would make his new body to see what that shield trick was, having to fight back the need to salivate.

However Hazama snarled as he saw the old snake's true intentions "Argh, you're as disgusting as I remember you! It makes me wonder why would anyone follow you, unless they're little and pathetic bitches like your boy toy there squirming and bleeding on the floor" he said and took a step forward before walking to Orochimaru, giving the snake bastard his infamous foxy smile, which would of seem friendly had it not been for his golden eyes shining maliciously "But oh well, I didn't expect you to remember me after what happened to me, after all, who'd want to remember the one who not only beat the hell out of you in the Forest of Death and then stopped you from getting a new Uchiha body"

Orochimaru's and everyone's eyes snapped wide open in terror "You… you're the Kyuubi brat!"

"T-That can't be…" mumbled Kabuto through gritted teeth, somehow fighting back the pain "That damn demon, that brat is dead… the village killed that stupid Kyuu-"

Now Hazama's mood was gone "Kyuubi, Kyuubi, Kyuubi!" he roared in rage, interrupting Kabuto "That's all I'm hearing from you all, don't you know that even a demon has a name!" he said clearly angered, making the vixen inside him smile, before returning to his lazy stance "But why should I be surprised when you are like most of the people in this planet, you who think that have power while just feeding your egos with lies" Hazama then gave them his full enraged face combo with shadowed eyes, his golden slit orbs shining as venom to destroy their veins as he spoke eerily calmly "But that's ok, I guess I should dirty my hands and take out the trash in here"

"H-Hey… shithead!" turning his head to the insulting voice, Hazama gave a one eyed gaze to none other than Tayuya, who had spit out the kunai in her mouth and stared at him… with hope "Y-You can… beat this sick bastard, can't you?"

"What are you… Oh... I get it. So, you wanna join me?" Hazama asked with mild-interest, and Orochimaru's eyes snapped open.

"You traitors!" the traitorous snake snapped at his subordinates "You'd dare betray me after all the power I gave you?"

"Us, traitors?" Tayuya snapped "You never gave us power, just a way to make us your fuck puppets and you killed Kin, all for yourself beng a pussy afraid of death, you motherfucking son of a bitch! You fucking put all of our friends against us so you could complete your shitty, sick wet dream of being an immortal cunt! I'm not betraying your balls sucking ass, I'm fighting for myself!"

The blond troll smirked as he turned to Orochimaru with his cruel smirk on "You heard the lady, you sick bastard, you… Now, I certainly can't let you live after hearing such sweet words from such a dirty mouth like hers… it'd be a waste if I let such a good possible subordinate die" he said as he widened his smirk, though Tayuya glared at him, albeit blushing… even if his words angered her… it was the first time someone thought of her as a lady.

But Orochimaru was pissed "Y-You… DAMNED BRAT!"

(Play Blazblue OST - Gluttony Fang)

THE WHEEL OF FATE IS TURNING!

REBEL 1

ACTION!

Orochimaru was the first to strike at Hazama, bad idea if you consider he IS the god of all trolls. Hazama suppressed the urge to gag at seeing Orochimaru spit out his sword Kusanagi, no matter how many times the bastard did his sick techniques it seemed to get even more sickening than before. And with sword in mouth, the traitorous snake charged at the fox.

Hazama simply skidded away on his feet as if he were skating, he was too smooth to dive. Then he connected his knee with Orochimaru's gut, forcing the air out of the reptilian man before spinning on his heels and bringing his other foot up, then delivering an axe kick to the slimey man's head with the force of a raging bull despite Hazama's scrawny constitution. The kick was strong enough to send Orochimaru to kiss the floor rather violently as his head bounced off the ground, leaving a small skull shaped crater where it hit the hard, solid rocky ground before his whole body flew up form the recoil of the impact. Hazama may be skinny as Hell, but damn can he kick.

Then Hazama grinned, before bringing his right arm up and swinging it down, a dark, green ethereal portal appearing from his palm "Ouroboros!" he shouted calling forth his Nox Nyctores, which had its jaw wide open before it bit on the still midair snake's flesh, digging deeply into Orochimaru's side before Hazama reeled back his faithful and trustful weapon, and slammed the disgusting man into the ground, to where he bounced, before shooting Ouroboros after the white snake and repeating the process again and again before pulling the bastard towards him and kicking him right on the face.

"Boot to da face, bitch!" Hazama hollered with a wild, insane laugh as the Sound Four gaped at the display of power before them.

However, Orochimaru got back up, before spitting his togue right at Hazama's neck, with the intention to strangle him.

Hazama sneered at the man's disgusting antics and spat his next words with venom "Piece of trash" and when the pale degenerate was about to wrap his sick purple tongue around Hazama's neck… the troll split in two, a hand on his beloved hat. A split second later, Hazama reappeared and kicked up, driving his heel which had one of his butterfly knives attached to a special slot in his shoe up into the chin of the disgusting snake while yelling "Jayoku Houtenjin!"

As the kick connected, the snake was stunned by the sheer force of it and, due tot he kcik being aimed at his face, and the knife in the foot who caused said hit, he bit off his own togue just as the knife took out his right cheek, making Orochimaru cry in horrible agony as half of his teeth were bare for the world to see in an eternal half-grin the blond had crafted in his face.

Then, a large beam of energy resembling a laser erupted from the ground below them and blasted Orochimaru, who was launched some 200 feet into the air through a large hole that the laser and the sheer impact from the pale skinned monster did on the ceiling. But Orochimaru wasn't done yet despite the agony Hazama had put him through, with some quick hand seals he summoned forth an army of his snakes and had them falling down, their mouths dripping with venom in the case of half of them and others carrying copies of Kusanagi in their mouths to stab the blond troll.

As they approached, Hazama just shrugged "Meh, what the heck? I feel stylish and I need to finish this quick" Hazama was not fazed by the desperate attempt of an attack to his persona, but instead pulled off his most devastating move with a crazy, wild laugh.

"Hungry Darkness of a Thousand So-hyehehehehehehehehe!" he couldn't help it when he laughed, self-interrupting himself, but damn if it felt too good to use that move to kill and/or maim someone.

He summoned his chains, which were arranged in a circle around him. They shot skywards and spun around him in a vortex, forming a spine of sorts. Tendrils of green-tinged black energy then erupted from around him, wrapping around Hazama's chains and forming a titanic serpent. Even Orochimaru was shocked at this display, for not even the Jinchuurikis out there could so easily summon an attack of this magnitude in a matter of a single instant.

The snake quickly recovered however and pulled his sword out of his mouth, extending its blade and soon started trying to slash at the oversized snake overpowering him while sending every snake summon he could muster to attack the monstrosity in front of him, as even the supposed genius student of the 'Professor' and 'God of Shinobi' himself would not take any chances when faced with a snake even bigger than the snake boss summon Manda.

The snake was not fazed by any of this and opened its mouth to devour the bastard before itself. It struck hard and fast, creating a large crater where it struck at the smaller snake man. The Sound Four had been safely behind their new boss while the troll showed off, luckily for them since Hazama had lost his conscience long ago when he was betrayed as Naruto. The gigantic ethereal reptile had reduced half the base they were in to rubble. Not that the God of Trolling would really care.

The snake, having fulfilled its purpose as an omen of death and destruction a little too well, disappeared, revealing Hazama now without his hat and his blond hair spiked up, his eyes shining evilly at the battered, broken body that once was Orochimaru with an evil killer intent powered and fueled with pure hatred and rage.

"Was that it? With all that shit talk, I would have thought ya would have put up a better fight. Come on, get back out here. Heck, I'll even play with you for a bit like… I dunno, I never cared what snakes like you played besides bodies for you to dissect"

Orochimaru was stricken with horror as he laid on the floor, all of his bones broken, his skin also broken with several sharp white spikes protruding from it, proof of his broken bones. His mouth was filled with broken or missing teeth and a lot of blood oozed from it. The sheer force of the impact had forced his right eyeball out of its socket and… all in all, he looked like shit. It was obvious that Hazama wasn't done, and that terrified the snake, he knew that Hazama would have much more of his 'fun' as he 'played' with him, and remembering how much he fucked up the kid's life by trying to steal his teammate's body and having that leading to the boy's death… the disgusting snake knew that the blond ghost of his past would make him pay for his every sin… and he had a LOT of sins that would undoubtedly send him straight to Hell.

'_Monster, monster, monster, monster, monster, MONSTER!_' the crippled snake thought in pure horror as Hazama stepped closer to him '_Must run away… I can't die here! I am a god! I am immortal! I am-_' "Grrrrraaaaahhhhh!"

Hazama grinned at the weakened man before him as he stepped on his right foot, which was mostly a pile of ribbons of flesh and broken bones, adding some pressure for the sake of making the snake suffer more before the fox put it out of its misery... slowly and painfully. Hazama took out his knife with one hand while with the other he pulled his hat out of thin air before putting it back atop his head, his grin widening "Well, I guess I may now start having some fun… do me a favor, and SCREAM!"

And scream the snake did. Hazama sure took his sweet time making Hell be a paradise in comparison to what he did to Orochimaru. Hazama was always sick, he always wanted to satisfy his bloodlust, and this FINALLY started to put away that thirst for blood, the hunger for the screams of suffering that he had dreamed about while torturing Ragna and the others. He NEEDED to torture someone, even if in what he called a 'small' dose… well, it was actually a small dose compared to what he wanted to do to the Leaf village, mostly to those he hated the most in it.

The life and pain he gave Ragna… would pale in comparison to what he did to the disgusting snake before him.

Once done, Orochimaru was dead, the only thing remaining was his mutilated head, which had its mouth open, both eyeballs painfully ripped out via a butterfly knife. The… puddle that was next to Hazama's feet was all that remained of the body of what once was a famous man in the Leaf before it betrayed everyone and tortured countless souls for power… and Hazama was going to make the Leaf suffer even worse.

He then turned to the Sound Five, who had long since emptied their stomach contents on the floor after what they saw… not even their former boss had been so sick… well, at least in the way of torturing someone. The only one remaining strong, but with a pale shade of green on her cheeks, was Tayuya, who looked about ready to puke as she looked at Hazama.

The troll widened his grin at them "So… are you ready to apply as my subordinates?"

"Y-you damned demon!" Kabuto roared as he somehow managed to not get hit by the gigantic snake and pulled out a kunai, aiming it blindly to where he thought Hazama was "Y-You killed Orochimaru-sama…. Didn't you, you filthy piece of scum?" he swung around his kunai wildly, hoping to kill Orochimaru's killer "I'll kill you! And then I'll kill those traitors! When I'm down with all of you I'll make sure me and Orochimaru-sama are together in order to achieve his dreams even if I have to sacrifice myself and-"

"Oh, shut your pie hole, bitch!" Hazama snapped as he put his right foot right into Kabuto's face, kicking him back against a wall with such force that the now blind medic ninja was embedded in it, his face literally broken as Hazama had put some of Yoko's chakra in his kick, breaking the nose, the jaw and the already useless eye sockets, leaving a bloody mess.

Kabuto struggled to speak, but all he managed to do was gurgle as he was swallowing his teeth and some of his blood due to the force behind Hazama's foot. The blond then took out one of his knives as he slowly but surely approached the soon to be dead medic ninja.

"Now, don't be rude, I was talking to a lady, back there… so smile for her!" he shouted and with savage swings he started to draw smiles all over Kabuto's body as the man attempted to scream in pain, but his voice was muffled by the collected broken parts of his skull.

Hazama then turned to his new subordinates after he was done with making Kabuto nothing but a heavily bleeding bloody… pulp of some sort, the former servant of Orochimaru was reduced to nothing more than a large piece of meat with several cuts all over, all of them shaped like smiles as life had escaped him somewhere in the middle of Hazama's angered madness.

Once done with that, Hazama grinned to the former Sound Four, his new subordinates "Now, guys… are you willing to obey and serve me?"

They nodded hastily, seeing such a monster like him given human flesh would haunt their dreams with nightmares for the rest of their lives.

Hazama soon grinned more "Good, because we're going to be very busy. I need info about all fo the Jinchuuriki, how many Akatsuki has in their possession, how many are alive and where are they… and what's the situation in the Leaf and… some few selected people of my interest" he added the last part, thinking of a few persons, but mostly about some ladies who he met and loved in that place.

Then he grinned more "Then, when I'm done getting in the loop we're gonna do what I love to do the most"

Jirobo, though a bit fearful, asked "What do you love to do the most… boss?"

Hazama grinned, he had expected someone to ask that "Why, my dear new pals… what I do every night, show the WHOLE world the true meaning of PAIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

As Hazama laughed, Tayuya finally said something she was meaning to say a long time ago:

"Ok, as sweet as it is to hear you talking… do us a favor, shithead… and just untie us right this fucking instant!"

**XXXXXX**

**And that's a rap! Sorry if the chapter was shorter than the last one, but the next one is gonna be BIG…why? Because it'll freaking have the next Chunin exams… in Wave country with all of the major villages there!**

**The Leaf is in for one nasty surprise, lots of pain and, most importantly, endless trolling!**

**Swordslinger out!**


	3. Chapter 3

I OWN NOTHING, now let's get to the trolling! It's about time I got something like this done!

**XXXXXX**

Hi there, victims

(Mist – Chunin stadium)

Mei wasn't having a happy day, she was the Mizukage, but what she had to do sickened her. It wasn't the job nor the place, it was that one Hokage that sickened her. She became the Mizukage to save her land, help its people and end tyranny, but she knew that the tyranny of the Leaf was endless. She had been kind of a fan of Senju Tsunade, even admired her as a strong, independent woman and thus she worked herself to the bone to be like that. When she heard of the blond medic ninja being Hokage she felt inspired… but it was a short lived moment when the Leaf's 'true' rulers took her out via stupid laws.

Now no one knew of Tsunade's whereabouts, only that she was keeping even more distance from the Leaf. She was in such a state of depression she hadn't even made one bet, thus why Jiraiya hadn't found her. Mei wanted to find the woman and give her any sort of sanctuary so she was safe from the village, but sadly the woman didn't want anything to do with the ninja world after what they did to that boy, that Jinchuuriki they killed cruelly.

Many persons were outraged at hearing how can someone be that cruel, Jinchuuriki or not, but the damn bastards in control of the Lead and even the daimyo didn't care since they had money and thus they thought they had the ultimate power. Even those who loved the Jinchuuriki tried to make the Leaf pay in any economical way, but the damn daimyo of theirs had too much money and political power. So if anyone tried to do something that bastard would simply snap his fingers and make their business dirt poor. Heck, the village treated the boy as if he shouldn't have existed so it is not mystery that the daimyo had helped with how well paid were the ones who tortured the kid as if they had been national heroes.

The Leaf was too economically powerful to do something even if the shinobi were weak, and all of that sickened Mei, how could someone be so… evil to do that! With no reason except hatred! And now she had to sit with the other five major Kages… along that bastard of Hiruzen Sarutobi, who thought of himself as untouchable now due to his daimyo saving his ass so easily thanks to bribes or political threats. If someone could do something against them he'd need a big pair or being hell bent on pissing people off.

"Whoa there!"

Mei widened her eyes when a sudden blur of green entered her vision. She stopped herself just at the right time before bumping into the stranger, she had been dreading too much the 'company' of her fellow Kage to see where she was going and almost bumped into… into… a sexy god!

He was tall, slim, had a friendly smile on his face and wore a fine suit, a green, opened kimono and had a fedora hat atop his blond hair in a combination of spiky and mop haircuts. However she couldn't see his eyes since they were hidden by the brim of the hat he was so affectionately holding atop his sun-kissed blond hair.

"Going to the Kage booth, aren't we, Mizukage-sama?" the man asked with a large friendly smile.

"Yes, I am, mister…" she said, inquiring on his name.

The handsome man's smile widened "Oh, you can call me Hazama only, milady" he said with his smile widening a bit more before asking her "By the way, would you be as kind as to show little ol' me the whereabouts of the booth? I am rather ashamed to say this, but it appears I am a bit lost"

Mei raised an eyebrow since she knew a fact "Excuse me for being rude, but only Kages can be in that booth, unless you're one you're not allowed in. And, as I said please forgive my rudeness, but you don't seem like Kage material"

Hazama smiled a warm smile as he finally took the brim of his hat out of his eyes' way, letting Mei drown in those seductive yellow, slit orbs of his, entrancing her "Well, I don't like to brag, and I must admit I am not much of a fighter. But let me assure you, milady, that I am a Kage AND that I have business with you and the other Kages once we're on the booth"

Mei giggled a little, albeit blushing at the man's good looks and manners, and spoke sincerely "Well, if I can help someone as polite as you then I'll be more than happy"

Hazama had a glint in his eyes of evilness, he knew this woman was strong according to the rumors; he had to make her his ally. He widened his smile and friendly hooked his arm around her shoulders, eliciting a major blush from the redhead beauty "Well, if you would, milady" he said, gesturing forward to the hallway both were in towards wherever she'd take him.

Right now Mei wanted to take him somewhere… like her home: '_Handsome, a Kage, modest about being strong and… oh, such a gentleman!_' Then she noted something: "Hey, Hazama-san…?"

The blond turned to her with a raised eyebrow "Yes, what is it, milady? Oh, and please call me only Hazama, we're both Kages so it means we're kind of equals, and I don't like so many formalities"

The woman giggled at how friendly the man was being with her and replied "Yes, sorry, Hazama. But it's just that, if you're a Kage, where are your subordinates? You should at least have some of them guarding you?"

Hazama shrugged "Well, I may not be that much of a fighter, but I can defend myself quite well, I am a Kage, after all. Besides, my subordinates can do whatever they want for now. I'm only here to see my team fight and win, hopefully" he said, ending it with a large smile aimed at her.

Mei's small blush grew a bit as she giggled like a school girl with the hunk of her dreams "Well, I'd love to see them win, even if my own village isn't participating"

"Oh yeah!" Hazama said as he snapped his fingers, as if he had remembered something unimportant "You're still recovering from… ahem, that war" he said, not asked.

Mei sadly nodded "Thus why we're here making this exam, we are broke so at least bringing some people here, regardless of us not competing, could help our business"

Hazama then frowned, which didn't go unnoticed by her "But your village could be open to attacks as you let all of this people frolic around, doing whatever they want while you and your shinobi are still recovering… which is highly suspicious"

Mei sadly nodded again "That's what I'm thinking, this is all like a big set-up for us to be attacked by someone like Stone or-"

"The Leaf" Hazama ended, his frown turning into a sneer "I know what you're thinking, Mei-chan" he said, getting a small blush from her at the nickname "And I'm taking care of it right now" he added the last part in a whisper so only she could hear him.

Mei's eyes widened as she looked at Hazama in shock, barely believing what she had just heard "Are you… helping us?" she whispered in disbelief.

Hazama nodded, his frown back "I can't let people like that pile of trash called Hokage suck someone dry… and don't worry, I know some of their dirty little secrets, such as these two rats"

Mei's eyes widened when Hazama reached into his coat and pulled out a sealing scroll, and upon unsealing its contents… she was eye to dead eye with the chopped off head of her advisors, both having their mouths open in a silent scream of pain. Her eyes then turned to Hazama, who pulled out two Leaf headbands with a nasty glare directed at the heads at his hands.

"These bastards told you about this 'great' idea with a purpose for their true village" he said before… smiling?

"They were… from the…" Mei tried to say, confused by the smile on Hazama's face, it was a happy, cheerful smile.

He nodded "Yes, from that piece of shit called the Leaf, Mei-chan. But don't worry, as I said before, I know their dirty little secrets, thus why they won't attack your village like planned"

Mie instantly grew angry, clenching her fists as she wanted to rip that old bastard of Hiruzen to pieces. She then turned sharply to Hazama, who had already sealed the heads back in his scroll and put said scroll in his pocket, and extended her hand to his "Hazama, as the Mizukage I hereby you as an ally of the Mist and want us to be in the best of terms"

Hazama took her hand, lifted it and then placed his lips softly on her knuckles, eliciting a major blush from the red haired bombshell "Mei-chan, you just made me a very happy man. But for now, we have to keep appearances, that old monkey is in for a little game of mine to not only get payback at what he tried to do to you, but humiliate him all around this world. And since you want us as good friends… I'll give you a hint of what I'll do"

Mei blushed at first at the words he sued before she raised a brow when Hazama motioned for her to approach him with a finger. She leaned her ear to his lips, shivering a bit at his hot breath.

"I will show him the true meaning of pain and despair"

She downright melted at the sexy tone of his voice.

Hazama grinned; he now had a good ally… a rather sexy one at that too. He enjoyed her company as she cuddled into his embrace, he hadn't taken his arm from her shoulder yet and it was paying off. But as they were about to enter the Kage booth Hazama sighed. He had business to do, and as much as he wanted to have a 'happy reunion' with his previous Kage and whatever bastard he brought to keep his sorry ass safe, the troll had much more important and personal business to do.

He still had time before the matches started, so he stopped, earning a confused look from the redhead beauty that had been snuggling in his arm.

"Oh, just one more thing, Mei-chan" Hazama said as both stood before the Kage booth, looking at his wrist watch before smiling at her "I am awfully sorry to make a lady as yourself wait, but I have to look for my team. As a Kage I wanna give them a few words of advice and encouragement, as well as see our little business being taken care of"

Mei smiled knowingly at him "Please do, and be careful, Hazama-kun"

The blond took off his hat, put it on his chest and bowed to her "Of course, milady. Now I think you should get in, this'll take me just a second"

Mei smiled and went in the Kage booth as Hazama walked away, wicked smile back on his face, making him look 'normal' compared to the unusual warm smile he had used with the Mizukage.

This smile of his meant someone was royally fucked.

XXXXXX

Hinata Hyuuga, true beauty and princess of her 'honorable' clan, sat miserably near her fiancée 'Sasuke' Uchiha. She and Satsuki kept up the image of a couple to be safe from the village's ambitious pigs and what they'd do to them, like forcing them on Kiba, who'd surely rape them until they were pregnant before tossing them around like trash if they weren't 'fun' for his sick pleasures. And now she had to keep her calm while the Haruno glared at her for 'stealing her true love' and planned another murder attempt.

Oh yeah, Sakura had tried more than once to kill Hinata to get 'Sasuke's' babies, failing miserably since she never trained and all she did was try to look pretty in order to get the Uchiha's attention. Satsuki had confronted the bitch, smacked her and broke some of her teeth and told her to stop. All Sakura did was to 'explain' her 'righteous' reason to give the Uchiha babies 'worthy' of the nearly extinct clan. That earned her another smack before Satsuki gave her a beat down that put Sakura in a three week coma.

Kiba was just as bad, since he tried to miserably attack 'Sasuke' for taking Hinata, but the Uchiha was not only stronger and better trained, she had the drive to not let anyone hurt the one person dear to her one true love. Thus Kiba was in a coma for around two months after the Uchiha was done with the dog boy.

Their friends were… it was hard to describe, some hated the Uchiha for what happened to the blond, some felt ashamed to the Leaf and its actions… some sympathized with the Hyuuga and tried to stand the Uchiha as she made Hinata as happy as she could. Ino and Tenten were the ones who seemed to have the most hatred now to 'Sasuke' regardless of the first being one of the former fan girls, Naruto was very dear to them regardless of their attitude to him thinking he was a knucklehead, and they began to admire him and his spirit, even feel something a bit deeper. But now that cute, hyperactive blond that made them smile was gone.

Neji however was all smug and happy that the blond was gone, this earned him disgust from his teammates but also support from his clan members. He had bragged about how Fate had deemed the blond prankster's death due to him defying destiny by winning their match, that it was a righteous, god given punishment.

But Hinata and Satsuki… their hearts ached without his laughter, that merry laugh they loved to hear when he made a prank and was music for their ears. One missed seeing him go and go even further into whatever dangers were before him to get stronger to protect those that mattered to him as it was what inspired her to be a better person, the other missed getting mad at his foolishness and childishness that made her smile in her private time when no one saw her. Now they just had each other, telling each other stories of what they had liked about him made the two dark haired girls closer… but also sadder for not spending time with-

"Howdy!"

Hinata and 'Sasuke' were brought out of their thoughts as in the stands of the genin teams stood a merry looking blond man… the simple fact his hair was the same shade as Naruto made the girls feel something hit their guts, sadness. It didn't help the man was as cheerful as Naruto.

Hazama then just stood before the teams of the Leaf, which included all of the famous Rookie 9, some of which he assumed came to see their friends fighting, and Gai's team. He forced himself to smile politely at the sight of the disgusting horn-dog, the pink abomination and the smug fate loving Hyuuga. He was used to this forced smiling sessions, he had spent some time with Relius and had to force his face more than once into a polite, friendly expression in order to get something done and done right.

He stood patiently as he looked around, noting some of the Cloud ninja, a few from Stone and few from the Sand. But finally he noted his team… mostly when the glasses wearing redhead clung to his arm eagerly.

Karin Uzumaki, wearing a purple jacket with the lower part opened to show her bellybutton, black short pants and thigh high shinobi boots, she had blood red hair and eyes, glasses with a trim of the same color covering her eyes and a nice B-cup (Yeah, she's in the harem. Why? She is a FAR better version of Sakura. I've seen the Sakura clone and pre-time skip Sakura clone crap flung at her...But the thing is, Karin WAS USEFUL from the start. And she's wasted on an emo fag like Sasuke. That and she DOES have a nice body, unlike the pink eyesore).

"Hussy…" mumbled an angry cyan haired girl with sharp teeth, Sui Hozuki (FemSuigetsu). She had short hair falling flat on her head, large C-cups nearing the D-cup size in a skin tight purple muscle shirt and baggy grey pants. Whenever she saw the redhead so close the blond the cyan haired girl felt like grabbing the gift her boss had given her, taken from the snake that had imprisoned her in that tube.

"Hazama-sama, it's been so long since I last saw you!" Karin said with a large beaming smile as she snuggled close to his side, making her blue haired teammate sneer while the larger one just stood still, calm… but trying hard not to go crazy against the Leaf ninjas after what his new boss told him about not touching them until it was time to strike, after all, said boss was the only one besides Kimimaro to stop his blood thirst… and even beat him to a pulp!

"Ok, ok, no need to get clingy" the troll laughed heartily.

But Karin was content hugging his arm '_Such a gentleman, does pay attention to what a lady says and… oh, so handsome, even more than that guy with the dark hair!_' said the boy-crazed girl as seeing someone like this gorgeous man before her made all others be way down in her new standards, even the Uchiha. And at least this guy did reply to her unlike most of the men she had talked before and did so with a warm, charming smile… she was keeping him.

Hazama smiled as he looked at the redhead and her teammates "Well, you three, I am glad to see you all in the finals!" he said cheerfully, perfectly hiding his true amusement at what they were gonna do, before turning to Sui "Now, you be a good little girl… and don't use that gift from that snake, ok? Otherwise I'd get really mad" he said happily, but under his cheerful voice he had a hidden threat of pain.

The tone on his voice made the water girl shiver "Y-Yes, boss" she replied quickly… but for some reason found herself blushing at his intimidating attitude… she liked being seen like that by him, the way his eyes put her down made her feel… hot.

Hazama smiled before he turned to the larger member of the team "And what about you, you promise to go easy on these guys?"

Jugo nodded and then bowed to the blond "I will, Hazama-sama"

"They go easy on us?" Kiba snorted, pointing at the trio of Hazama's underlings "You mean that the creep giant retard and two women can beat us?" he barked in laughter, earning him glares from a lot of people for insulting Karin and Sui just for being both girls.

However, Kiba was downright caught off guard when Hazama turned to him with a smile, the dog boy expected him to be mad… not smiling as if they were long time friends! "Well, well, well… what do we have here?" the troll spoke with his bubbly, friendly tone as if he had found a fly on his tea table and wanted to feed it a sugar cube for the heck of it. If anyone were to see the glint on his eyes hidden by his hat's brim they'd know said metaphorical sugar cube would be bathed in some toxic substance that'd make the fly die a horrible, slow and painful death.

Hazama smiled some more, his tone still all happy… but it was now for mocking: "If it ain't none other than Kiba Inuzuka… the very same dog that sold his mother and sister as baby factories to get the title of clan head"

Everyone, except for Sakura and Neji, remembered once again why Kiba disgusted them, not only because of how he treated Naruto but what he had done lately. However, this information wasn't even known to the clan heirs, so they began to wonder how Hazama knew about it. The guy was openly accusing Kiba of making his mother and sister sex slaves, sure that Kiba would due the dumb thing by speaking about it aloud when several people of other villages could use this information to make the Leaf look bad, well, worse than it looked now after what they did tot heir Jinchuuriki.

Kiba had literally sold his own flesh and blood to the councils to use them as breeding factories, forcing Hana and Tsume to work as prostitutes in other villages to get some clan's children. The only reason those women were now in the stands this instant surrounded by 'targets' was because they had been forced to look for some bloodline user in other to seduce him like whores or they'd be killed by their 'masters' from the council… the poor ladies had cried their hearts out for quite a long time… and the worst was that Kiba didn't give a fuck:

"So what?" he asked uncaringly, making several people gasp and then look at him in even more disgust "That bitch of my mother didn't want to let me be clan head because I wasn't 'mature' as she said. She even wanted to make my sister, a woman, the new clan head. So of course I had to act, and the Elders and the civilian council helped me because they recognize me as strong. And now as the clan head all the girls in the world shall fall to their knees and beg me to fuck them" he ended with a nasty smile that even disgusted Hazama.

This proved it, Kiba was an idiot, this kind of information could openly ruin the village.

But the Troll God was a good actor, and so he kept on smiling as if he'd won a ridiculously huge amount of cash regardless of his need to puke "My, my… that is just amazing…" he said, gaining a toothy grin from Kiba and shocked looks from almost everyone else as they couldn't believe someone could be that sick… until "I mean, it's so amazing…ly pathetic!" he ended, still smiling that friendly smile of his but with a tone of mockery that humans could never reach since this guy was a god at trolling.

"What did you just say, you fox faced bastard?" Kiba growled as his entire good mood was gone.

Hazama smirked as his eyes shone like the poison that his persona seemed to be made of "Oh, for goodness sake! I never thought even a Leaf shinobi could be THIS disgusting! Well, maybe not all, I see just three bastards in here that make me sick to my guts" he laughed, his tone cheerful and full of sadism.

"Would you care to say that to my face, peasant?" spoke the arrogant Neji Hyuuga, glaring at the ghost.

"Yeah, don't you know how powerful we of the Leaf are? Our daimyo can ruin your pockets with a single snap of his fingers. And I'm sure I am stronger than those whores of yours" the pink abomination screeched as she pointed at Karin and Sui, who could only glare as Jugo held the, back, telling them they'd have their chance when the fighting began.

However, Hazama's a troll: "Oh, why did you two think I was talking about you? I never said any names, or descriptions at least, I just said three" he said, smiling all the while.

Sakura, thinking of herself as superior, puffed her inexistent chest out and spoke arrogantly "So, who are the other losers? Surely it must be-"

"You and the arrogant Hyuuga with the stick up his ass" Hazama interrupted her, smiling more "I said I didn't give any hint, but that you two guessed it was you who I was talking about… how pathetic can you be? And you guys even recognize how much of a failure you are! Oh, this is just so… hahahaha…. Oh, excuse me… hehehehe… I should get this under control… hehehehehe! Soon… hahahahaha!"

Neji growled in embarrassment while Sakura sneered as she had been made fun of in the most humiliating of ways, Hazama's way "Why you!" she shouted as she attempted to punch him…

*Bam!*

Neither the god of trolling nor the bitch punched anyone, it had been 'Sasuke' who was glaring at the bitch "If you're so pathetic to get into fighting by such taunts then you are more pathetic than what I thought"

Hazama snickered as Sakura tried to reason with her 'true love' "But Sasuke-kun! That bastard made fun of us and even dared to-"

"And he's in a neutral territory" Hinata spoke coldly, never having a liking to the pink bitch and she was sure as hell going to lay this one down as heavily as she could "This man here is from another village, and we at least should try to keep our image by not responding to his taunts, something you fail to do since all you think of is your stupid and inexistent pride and the fact you think you can impress a still engaged man to get power. Besides…" she turned to glare at both the whore and the two other males Hazama had insulted and spoke words the ghost had been happy to hear:

"I agree wholeheartedly with him, you three are pathetic"

"You bitch!" Neji roared ahs he pulled out a kunai and charged his cousin, clearly intent on killing her.

"Oh shut up, you pathetic runt!"

Before Neji could react he was kicked right on the face by a classy toe steeled shoe as Hazama sneered at the Hyuuga's downed form "The lady's spoken! You as a gentleman should know better than to do shit against what a true lady says, you know? Besides, the only way you can insult a lady is if all she says is shit, like that whore over there" he said, turning to glare at Sakura with such hatred the pink thing back pedaled in fear before tripping on her own feet and falling on the floor. As an afterthought he was about to insult Rachel too… but no, even that shitty vampire didn't deserve to be compared to the abomination on the floor… even Hazama had standards and he was sure as shit not going to go THAT far when insulting someone, even if it were the head of the Alucard clan there was no way he'd compare someone to that… thing.

Kiba, however decided to use his brain for once "You attacked us! You must pay for attacking someone from the Leaf!" he shouted, and attempted to attack… only to be blocked by Shino, the ever logical bug boy glaring at him behind his shades.

Hazama grabbed his hat since his new fit of laughter threatened to make it fall off his head, his shoulders shaking as he barely contained his laugh "Oh… oh! This is too much! Hahahahahaha!" he laughed, hard, changing his friendly attitude to one of sadistic cruelty and glee. Then he somehow managed to make his laughter die as he gave Kiba a look of utter sadism that threatened to wet the dog boy's pants, Akamaru wisely stepping away from his soon to be doomed master. The ghost turned to the bug fanatic "Thanks a lot, kiddo. Now, would you be as kind as to explain to this dirty mutt why he shouldn't attack me?"

Shino nodded before turning to the dog boy with his eyes glaring behind his shades "Kiba, stop making a bigger fool out of yourself" the ever stoic bug fanatic said "This man hasn't attacked us first, he protected your fellow Leaf shinobi from another fellow Leaf shinobi, preventing us from going into a greater disgrace than if we let Neji kill one of us out of blind rage because of a childish taunt"

Yeah, Kiba's brain is worth shit. But Hazama had more important matters in his mind:

"Childish?" Hazama pondered with a thoughtful look "Boy, to hear my taunts are childish… geez… am I losing my touch?" he asked himself, truthfully worried about losing his special something as a troll. Then he shrugged as he turned to Shino "But that wasn't my point exactly, kiddo. I said why he shouldn't attack me, and while you made a good logical point… you missed one important fact"

Shino raised his eyebrows "And that'd be…?"

The ghost smirked "That's for me to know and you kiddies to find out, laters… and ladies!" he said aloud as he turned to the two females in his team and the girls from the Leaf, with the exception of Sakura for obvious reasons, and smiled a warm, friendly smile that got some decent shades of red in their cheeks "I'm dying to see what you can do"

"Ah…no…um…" stuttered a madly blushing Ino as she approached the very handsome blond gentleman in the fine suit "You see, me and most of my fellow Leaf shinobi are already Chunin or of a higher rank"

Hazama chuckled "Well, so besides the mutt and that pink howler monkey, who else is fighting?" he asked while earning glares from said morons that he easily ignored because of the cutie before him.

Tenten approached him with a sheepish smile "That'd be me, Ino here and my teammate Lee" she said, a bit ashamed to look weak before this man, same as Ino.

Hazama chuckled goodheartedly with a warm smile, this was an instant heart melter when used right, and put his hands on the bun and blond haired girls' shoulders, making their blushes go a shade darker "Well, I wish you two and your friend… Lee, was it? Well, I wish you three good luck too, though I'd advise being careful with my shinobi" he then leaned closer to them and whispered just so they heard him "And… do be careful with your shinobi too, especially the mutt"

The tone Hazama used was one of complete business, and it made the two feel their hearts skip a beat. He was serious, and he was warning them… about their own fellow shinobi. This didn't make them feel at ease, though they'd have guessed this warning to be because of Kiba being a major degenerate pervert it was obvious Hazama knew much more than what he was saying.

Then he turned to the 'happy' couple of the Uchiha and the Hyuuga, smiling a true smile at them… He never had felt loved, and hearing them confess their feelings to him, as well as stealing some of his first and last kisses made him feel more… human, perhaps. He was actually happy, and didn't need to force his smile or do any acting, he just spoke truthfully "It's nice to see you two… I've heard you've grown stronger over the years after certain… well, tragedies on your lives. I respect and admire that in you two"

Satsuki scoffed while Hinata looked down to her feet, the former speaking "It's not like we have a choice… we lost someone dear to us and thus we needed to get stronger after what he did to save us… and…" she sighed "…never mid… that person is long gone…" she said, a hint of sadness in her cold voice.

Sakura scoffed and decided to add her bullshit "Oh, Sasuke-kun! How can you even worry about that idiot? It's good that he died! He was only a nuisance and had to die so he didn't get on your way-"

"Shut up" snapped, in a tone colder than death's touch, none other than Hinata, her eyes showing utter, cold hatred "We all know who really got in the way when Sasuke and Naruto-kun fought, and who of the two worked his hardest to actually do something instead of fawning over the other… and it is not Sasuke who I'm talking about"

"Shut up, you Hyuuga slut!" Sakura snapped "That demon is better off dead! And you shouldn't insult Sasuke, you clearly don't deserve him unlike m-"

"Sakura, shut up or I'll cut your cheeks and force you to scream in order to give you a Glasgow smile" 'Sasuke' said as coldly as Hinata "And about Hinata insulting me… we all know she is right, stop being in your stupid denial"

Hazama made a sad face… though he was actually trying not to smile he was also saddened. His expression in the end was a small but sad smile "I feel for you two… it sounds like you cared for the guy after all"

Save for Sakura, who tried in vain to hold her anger, Kiba, who was sneering at the memory of the one who had Hinata's heart, and Neji, who cursed the name of the one who tried to defy his Fate, the Leaf shinobi looked down and replied in unison "We did"

The real ladies of the group added in sadness and in their minds the words that hurt them the most: '_And I never got close to him_'

Hazama then turned and walked away, waving behind him "Take care, you kids… I'll take care of some business of mine, see you all later"

Suddenly, Hinata and Satsuki felt something in their pockets, reaching there they found a note… But they'd have to worry about that later, the fights were about to begin. However, Shikamaru, always the smart one, noted something missing in this picture, thus he motioned for Chouji and Shino closer, the only ones who weren't looking a Hazama with hearts in their eyes or murderous intent.

The lazy slug sighed "You know that guy has more info than he's letting on, right?"

Shino nodded "In all logic, that man shouldn't know of something like Kiba's disgusting acts. After all, making that public would make the Leaf look bad, my suspicions are that they wouldn't want anyone getting so much dirt on them, not even I knew of that. So we have to wonder, what other secrets he has with him"

Chouji nodded while inhaling a bag of chips "This Hazama… he's obviously going to strike the Leaf, and after what happened to Naruto I'm planning on giving him a hand"

The other two guys nodded, if their village would go so far out of stupid, blind and senseless hatred then what good was it to be there?

XXXXXX

The Kages all sat in their booths, their guards at their side ready for any incoming attack. So it was obvious they were quite shocked when a stranger walked in and took a seat besides them and with an all smiles face. The ladies in the booth however were more shocked by his features than anything else, he was a handsome man and while being a bit scrawny he had style and a pair of entrancing golden orbs.

Before that four of the five major Kages were trying to tolerate their disgust towards the Third Hokage, who shamelessly smoked his old pipe to annoy some of the other Kages with the smoke, and one of his guardians, Kakashi Hatake. Besides him was none other than the now widow Kurenai Yuhi, her late husband Azuma being dead when he tried to object against his own father to save the blond Jinchuuriki, and to put it as an example of obedience the smoking bear like man was executed along those who had shown some love to the blond. She was glaring daggers at her Hokage, wanting to strike him, but her thoughts died when she sensed the seal Jiraiya put in her neck to ensure they had someone to teach their precious Uchiha about illusions or else she'd die.

Sitting as far away from him as humanly possible but glaring harder than the illusions mistress was Gaia of the Sand, a petite redhead with her hair falling flat on her head like a mop haircut, bags under her eyes and a tattoo for the kanji of love on her forehead, with a small A to B cup bust which was so nicely shaped as well as her heart shaped small rear. This made her give the image of a cute but also strong girl even with the blank look on her face that made her seem cold. She was also wearing a big red robe over her body and her sand while being inside its container wanted to strike the old monkey for killing the one who freed her from all the darkness in her heat. Besides her were her brothers Temari and Kankuro, the first glaring as hard as her little sister because she never got a chance to thanks the blond who saved the sibling she thought long gone due to the raccoon's madness, the later while not as fond of the blond boy had almost the same level of hatred against the Leaf.

Besides them were Mei and A, both glaring as hard as their bodyguards - Jinchuuriki's in A's case - to the Hokage, that smiled sensing their killer intent. Mei looked at him with the most hatred as she loved her country, she didn't want anyone in it to suffer after that war of those sick purists started so of course she wanted to snap his old neck for tricking her with those fake assistants to let her village wide open for an attack, that and her previously stated reasons.

Near Sarutobi was Onoki, who while sharing the old monkey's points of view glared hard at him, he also wanted the power of the Kyuubi for his village and to make the Leaf look weak. His granddaughter however looked shamefully away from her grandfather, having felt sorrow for the poor two that died for her village by being used as weapons, no one had even shed a tear for them due to their state as Jinchuuriki, which her grandfather had made public to get them better under his control as living weapons. How many times had she bitten her tongue were countless, but she was a kunoichi of her country… she had to obey orders… right?

Sarutobi just acted as if he had done nothing wrong and his actions were justified as if he was Kami's gift to the world while eying the Raikage's Jinchuuriki's. The male would need brainwashing, the female and the Kazekage… he wanted to do so many 'fun' things to the blonde and redhead beauties before turning them into another one of his weapons like Danzo had done in ROOT.

But now he and the other three Kage's would have to wait for the exams to begin and then end, surely in the Leaf's great victory when Kakashi sneaked out to call Jiraiya, who was hiding in the shadows in order to strike and then use seals to cripple not only the three Jinchuuriki's but also the Mizukage and the Sand kunoichi, they could be used as good ways to breed powerful shinobi for the Leaf after he and Kakashi were done killing the remaining shinobi and then expanding the Leaf to an even greater path of power so they could be truly gods of this world that didn't deserve their greatness and-

"Howdy!"

(IMPORTANT: For nice ambient, and because it's fitting for this chapter, play MadWorld OST – Look Pimpin' for the rest of the chapter. Now, let's admit it, the ghost looks like a pimp, bitch-smacks like a pimp, talks like a pimp and looks damn good as one. If you don't believe me then look in Deviantart a picture called Hazama's True Plan by ~mist94)

Everyone turned to look, with blushes in the case of the ladies, a scrawny but good looking smiling man who was swag as a devil. Said man then proceeded to move towards another seat, only to be blocked by the guards who looked at him sternly. Mei was about to tell them to let him go but Hazama silently told her not to do so with his hand, so she decided to sit this one out but help her new, and handsome, ally if things seemed to go the bad way. Though there was one thing the redhead beauty didn't know, when Hazama was around everything goes the ghost's way.

"Stop, this place is for Kages only" said none other than Kakashi. See? Everything goes his way.

"Whoa, and why else would I be here if it wasn't that case?" he asked with a snicker as everyone gave him quizzical looks at how someone as thin as him could be strong.

Kakashi wanted to make fun of him due to that "Sorry, but there is no way I could believe someone as scrawny as you could be able to even use a kunai" he said just like to everyone else to annoy the heck out of them… which of course is as effective as throwing a toothpick to a bullet train to stop said super fast vehicle when you try to annoy the God of ALL Trolling:

"Hehehe, well, I though shinobi were supposed to use BOTH eyes to fight yet here you are, Hatake Kakashi, needing to rely on someone else's eye to gain a reputation you'd NEVER had gotten without it… am I right? Come on, just tell me, am I…? I am, aren't I?" the ghost said with his mirth growing and growing with each line as Kakashi's mood got worse and worse. Then Hazama just took one step towards an empty seat as he left the mutt growling to himself, until…

"Heh, great words from a man who hasn't even given a name to the world as a shinobi, unlike me" the copy ninja boasted as he turned to look at Hazama, who still was walking peacefully to his seat, ignoring the insult thus making Kakashi madder, and much worse when the ghost replied:

"I'd rather make my own name by my own strength instead of relying on the eye of some dead guy. I mean, is that even sanitary? You must be out of your mind to think something like that could help you. How disgusting can it be to steal someone's eye and to use it for your own gain. If you wanted to earn something then do so without someone else's power at least" he said with a widening smirk that split his face in two as Kakashi uselessly growled at the ghost.

"But you're still have not given us your name, nor proof of you being a Kage" Sarutobi said, he couldn't have the Leaf's image dirtied by this nobody… sadly for him and good for the ones who hated his guts with good reasons, the so called nobody in the old man's eyes was a master at counters in conversations:

"How about a little fight?" he said finally finding his seat and putting it between Mei and Gaia before taking off his green kimono, folding it and putting it in one of the armchairs and then taking off his hat and putting it on the other armchair, making him earn some glances from the females beside and around him now that they could get a good look at him and see that while scrawny he had some muscle.

Sarutobi, jealous of the attention the man was getting from his to-be slaves, spoke again in a forced even tone "And what are you proposing in this fight?"

Hazama smiled, he always received questions and no matter what they asked to him he'd always have a 'nice' answer "Why should I tell you? You weren't recognizing me as a Kage before, but now by this question you clearly are thinking of me as a threat… could it be that you're afraid of something? Could it be, I don't know, that I may have some dirt on you and your village?"

*Snap!*

Sarutobi's pipe, which he had been so peacefully taking a puff from, had been broken in two by what the man was implicating. Hazama grinned even more "Why, are you nervous, Hokage-_sama?_" he asked with clearly no concern of the man's health clearly proven by the sarcasm at the suffix as the other Kages were now very interested in whatever this blond, golden eyed man had to say "I am not much of a fighter, but if I am good at one thing is to gather information. And damn do I love my job. I know a lot… but why tell when I can have some fun in trying to see some possible allies?"

Hiruzen was very pale and felt his heart near Death's door "What do you want?"

Hazama laughed, now his true face showing off "Ha… hahahaha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" his laughter turned into something the Joker would envy as the blond ghost grabbed his laughing face with his hand while rolling back into his seat so much he was about to fall back. He laughed and laughed before he directed a sadistic smirk at the old monkey's face "Listen to you… you shriveled old monkey. You think negotiating with me will be that easy? Of course not! So, I have some FUN prepared… but do NOT think it'll be fun for you or the others, it'll be fun for me, not for you, only for me, myself and I, and I don't care how shamelessly egomaniacal I sound, hehehehehehehe!" he ended with a sickening laugh.

Jiraiya, still hidden, was trying to find a way to strike but couldn't do so or he'd blow his cover before the true fights began and he and his old master could kill the males and subdue the women, and then when that was done have some 'fun' with them. He could only trust on his sensei… and that trust was had to face Trollzama himself, the one all trolls worship.

Kakashi then stepped closer, kunai out "You'll keep your mouth shut if you know what's good for you" he threatened, the ghost not even fazed.

Hazama chuckled "Boy, seriously, I don't know if it's my natural pheromones or I need a good bath with my favorite bathing powder soon. But you Leaf shinobi are on me, all coming after me like flies on hot shit" he let out a dark chuckle before looking down on the dog themed shinobi "By the way, just so you know, if I die here then my information will be made worldwide known by my subordinates. I always wanted to make something like this and make someone thing I am laughing from the grave"

(Blazblue universe - Kagutsuchi)

A man with a flaming red jacket and a humongous sword, a man in blue clothes with a large katana, a girl with a beret and large pistols, a ninja with a large nail on his back, a Chinese doctor with generous assets, a redhead justice seeker, a squirrel beast-kin, a pile of black goo, a red skinned Cyborg, a petite cat woman, a lazy cat girl, a boy with a top hat, three personas in one body, a cat walking in two legs with dual nodachi on his back, a werewolf in a butler's outfit, a petite girl who looked like a rabbit, a man in a white armor with a large katana and several souls in the afterlife sneezed at once.

Their only thought: '_I have the feeling someone should die a horrible death_'

(Back in Mist's Chunin stadium)

Hazama laughed like the madman he was as his preys looked shocked: "Oh, this is just TOO MUCH! Hahahahahahahaha! Your faces, oh those expressions of complete hopelessness are so divine! Hyahahahahaha!" the ghost was having fun, too much fun, he actually thought he could die from all of that excitement and joy, and maybe come back again and annoy them even more with how he couldn't die or something like that to double the fun.

"W-What is it you want…?" asked a now shaky, sweating and very nervous old monkey.

Hazama's chuckles turned darker "I said it already, a fight. I wanna fight in this tournament, right here and now… but with a certain set of rules. The ones to beat me get the info, as simple as that, if the Leaf manages to make anything fun for me… I might, MIGHT consider helping them. But if any of the other villages proves some worth I might think about some nice alliance with them"

"Why don't you already side with me then?" Onoki asked with a smug grin he couldn't wipe off his face "If we joined forces we could-"

"I said I wanted villages WORTH something in my alliance, thus it is for ME to decide, not you, NONE of you" Hazama cut the aging man with an evil smirk that easily turned Onoki's face into a frown. The ghost then widened his smile into his sadistic version of the Troll-face, looking even more evil than the Devil himself "So, for that I just wanna fight you, Tsuchikage-sama, the Raikage and also the Hokage in that order"

"Wait! What about those two women?" Hiruzen asked, since this fight might mean those two could be weakened and thus easier to capture and be used as breeding slaves.

Hazama waved a finger "Ah, ah, ah… I actually like the Mizukage since she worked herself to the bone in order to protect her beloved land, and the Kazekage…" he turned to the petite redhead, before giving her a beaming smile, making her feel some heat on her cheeks as that smile was… familiar… too familiar "Well, let's just say I can't help but like cute AND strong girls" this made the sand manipulator feel her cheeks boiling so she had to turn away from him to avoid the painful memories of the one who saved her from the demon in her gut.

The Hazama got up, resting his kimono in his right arm while his left arm held dearly his beloved fedora, so he stood there with a 'friendly' smile on his face before walking to the end of the booth, looking down at the stadium where the fights between genin hopefuls hadn't even begun. He turned to the three elder men with a look of sadistic pleasure on his face and asked what he had wanted to ask them for a long time now:

"Well, are we going to 'play'?"

XXXXXX

Down on the stadium the three major Kages and their new, hopefully, ally were standing on different parts of the place, it was a ground made of white rocks due to the salt in them as due to the sea water that sometimes raised to this level while in other seasons, fortunately it was always dry for the Chunin exams, but that's besides the point. Now here they were, three of the major Kages facing a man no one barely knew and that three shinobi of the Leaf glared with all their hatred while several others looked at him with interest as the stands were now filled with whispers about who the scrawny man with the hat and kimono in his arms was… mostly questions made by females who eyed him a bit lustfully.

Hazama chuckled "Well, now that it's all said and done, let's get this game started" he then put on his hat and with a swift, suave motion put on his kimono like he did with his coat before a fight, feeling cool at just that display in swiftly putting a piece of clothing to show you didn't take your enemy much into consideration or even saw them as a pebble in your road, making them angry.

The Troll God chuckled once again "Only problem with looking swag, is that I'm the only one that makes it look good"

Angry, the Tsuchikage was the first to attack, several large boulders flew from the ground towards the ghost, who looked at them boringly "When I'm done with you, you'll be begging me to let you be one of my underlings!" the very old Kage boasted.

"Rocks… how original" the ghost replied with a lot of boredom in his voice and then grabbed his hat with one hand. The moment his hand touched the rich velvet his hat was made an ethereal green shield surrounded the ghost, making all the boulders bounce easily "Don't take me lightly!" the ghost suddenly snapped, his mood all gone to the sewer as he wasn't getting much of a challenge here.

"Good thing I didn't from the beginning!" the Raikage roared as he was covered in his lightning armor, his fist reeled back to punch Hazama's face.

The ghost easily sidestepped the punch, surprising A at the sheer speed and agility of the skinny man, it was as if he had just danced and A was supposed to be as fast as lightning with his armor on! To add more shock, the ghost easily grabbed the large burly man by his coat's collar, easily lifted him off the ground a few feet regardless of A weighting a ton, and then kneed the Raikage in the gut. A felt his breath go out of his mouth as the man before him was much, much stronger than he let on, making someone of his size and weight easily fly back until crashing against the floor, hard, leaving a crater of a decent size with A inside, trying to get back to his feet.

Hazama then turned to glare to the old monkey, who while having summoned his Summon Boss, and using him in his staff mode, hadn't moved an inch from where he was. Hazama sneered "Not gonna move yer ass, are ya?" he asked, knowing full well that the senile ape wanted him to get tired from fighting the other Kages and then give the coup de grace himself in order to take all the glory.

Hiruzen grinned a smug smirk "Why dirty my hands? You'll lose either way so I'll just see what the other Kages do to know how to beat you eas-"

"Easier? Now THAT is a funny joke!" Hazama hollered, his body glowing a dark green aura around him, before "Time to feast, boys!"

From his back, three large, ethereal snakes appeared, each easily the size of one of Orochimaru's snake summons and all lunging not only at Hiruzen but at Onoki too. The first was easily caught in one of the snakes' mouth, using his staff to try to keep it open and avoiding getting bitten in half, which the snake used to rise its head up before slamming the old monkey's body against the ground, leaving him in a crater even bigger than A's, with enough force to break some of Hiruzen's ribs and even make him spit blood. It was obvious the blond didn't have nice feelings towards the man as he had gone easy on the Raikage with his kick, but with Hiruzen it was obvious he wanted pain.

Onoki however flew away from the two remaining snakes as best he could. Hazama, seeing that the old man was being too stubborn to die, decided to end it soon "Ouroboros!"

Onoki was surprised when a large metallic snake head bit the air in front of him, and more that it was connected to a chain, said chain pulling up a smiling - sadistically of course – Hazama with another of those ethereal snakes around his left leg, which he used to kick Onoki upside the aging Kage's head, with enough force to make his aching hip crack yet once again as the Tsuchikage screamed in pain while falling to the ground, where he stood in yet another crater.

Hazama smirked at the three downed Kages, only A getting up from his crater, it seemed he would at least get one ally… but the others… No, he was far from done, he wanted fun, lots and lots of fun. Besides, if the Raikage was to be his new ally then he at least should prove some more fun too! And let's not forget all he heard of the Tsuchikage who didn't give a flying fuck about his Jinchuuriki being kidnapped by the Akatsuki, he had to pay! And Hiruzen… oh, his suffering shall be so satisfying, for now at least, he wanted to have LOTS and LOTS of fun with this little monkey as he made him cry and holler in delicious pain!

He needed to enjoy this, take it to a whole new level to make sure he was satisfied. He needed a real fight, no other little bitch of a shinobi in this world could give him satisfaction but those three together. And he needed them to get serious if he wanted more entertainment. He NEEDED entertainment!

He had to laugh!

"Heh… hehehehe… hahahahahaha… hahahahahaHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA… !"

As everyone either gave him horrified looks, confused ones or, in case of the ladies, blushing glances, the ghost crossed his arms in front of his face and began to recite the activation password for his imitation of the Azure Grimoire. But this time, like Ragna when he fought him and won for the first time… he HAD help, in the form of a lovely vixen: "**Take all the power you need from me, and make them SUFFER!**"

Hearing to such a plea from such a beauty, how could he deny something like that and call himself a man?

**Releasing restriction number 666…**

**Dimensional Interference Force Field deployed!**

The audience, who had been cowering in terror when the blond haired, golden eyed monster of a man and the three Kages were fighting, looked just about fit to crap themselves when the ghost was going to release his powers on the trio, and it was not helping that he had the look of a serial killer enjoying his job more than a real serial killer would. The atmosphere around them started to warp as the unnatural amount of power around them started to distort the area around the troll. The ladies whoever were feeling heat in their cheeks… crazy men like Hazama made Evil look sexy.

**Code [S.O.L.], Azure Grimoire… Activate!**

Power erupted from the now terrifying man, with Hazama being surrounded by a circle demarcated by floating runic characters.

He allowed himself a small laugh "I'll make you all scream for me, I want your cries of rage, pain and sorrow… I want you to bleed for myehehehehehehehe!"

Everyone in the stadium agreed on one thing: Hazama was the very stuff from nightmares if you faced him in battle.

**XXXXXX**

**And a cliffy! Next chapter expect NO mercy against a big war and some much MORE AWESOME TROLLING, BABY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! …ok, sorry, got my evil in me too hyped while doing this chapter.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	4. Chapter 4

I OWN NOTHING, now let's get to the trolling!

**XXXXXX**

You've been Trick Trolled

"N-No way… IMPOSSIBLE!"

Atop the genin's booth everyone had to cover their ears at the horrible screeching of Sakura's disbelief even if everyone shared her same thoughts… for once.

In the middle of the arena laid the three defeated Kages, all down, bruised, beaten and in a shape that truly spoke volumes of what Hazama did to them. They weren't even capable of touching the ghost, too smooth to be touched, too bad when hitting them and that runic circle of his was a criminal (too many MJ references for one sentence?), taking their energies from them like a poisonous snake's bite and letting them open for Hazama to do his things. Close range attacks weakened them, long range attacks would mean he'd use his snake chain or his dance moves to bring them pain while slicing them with his stylish butterfly knives.

And before them was Hazama who hadn't even broken a sweat, his blond hair still spiked up as his golden eyes shone with a malice that proved clearly how much he enjoyed this as well as give hints of how much utter hatred he had directed at them in a form of pure evil. But for the ghost, this was Monday, just another way to start the day by overpowering three extremely and ridiculously strong individuals in a fight… ah, good times and good ways to get some adrenaline in after waking up.

The former NOL captain dusted his green kimono, fortunately nothing stained it nor his gray suit, not even his stylish shoes, the left one being on the Hokage's throat putting more and more pressure. He smiled that smile only he could make to anger someone beyond belief and muttered the forbidden words: "Problem, dick-shit?"

Sarutobi tried in vain to get up but Hazama was way stronger and his still active Ouroboros drained the senile man from whatever few energies his dried up body could have. The glee was basically shining in the troll god's eyes as he added more pressure "Ah-ah-ah, you shriveled old monkey of a fleabag, you have to BEG for it, got it? … as for you"

In one second Hazama turned to a charging Onoki who had three boulders and a rocky armor in his left arm trying to smash the blond troll, only for Ouroboros' spear like strikes to pierce and shatter the rocks. When the Tsuchikage tried to use his rock armor to protect himself he showed what little brain he had… I mean, the spear easily broke through three boulders, some rock gauntlets ain't gonna do much difference, is it? And the old bad hip suffering old geezer found out how much Ouroboros' bite could do when with a single yank after the metallic jaws clamped on his arm, tearing it apart, Hazama easily ripped the old man's arm with sickening ease towards him along with the Tsuchikage.

He caught the arm, then flipped it and caught it by the bone in it as Onoki still flew at him… only for Hazama to use the severed arm to bitch-slap him "Listen to the one kicking your senile, wrinkled asses, geezers, I'm too smooth and bad for ya" he said as the old and in need of retirement Kage flew before using the severed arm to give another bitch-slap to Sarutobi with strength enough to make him spit all of his remaining teeth.

He smirked "Ah, today's a good day for making you all suffer" and with that howl of joy and power he was surrounded by his ethereal snakes before ordering them to keep roughing up the two ancient Kages while he approached the Raikage.

XXXXXX

At the booths the crowd was both amazed and disturbed, some were one and others were both, but in any case Hazama sure knew how to shock everyone around him. But two were obviously showing what they were thinking:

"You go, Hazama-sama!" cried said ghost's female genins. However, a certain shadow in the same booth glared at them, mostly at her fellow redhead for grabbing the ghost's arm so lovingly… she would of cursed with a mouth worse than a pirate's and a sailor's but she had orders to stay there, await for the 'shit storm to hit the fan' and then do her job… Though she also wanted to cheer for him with how much ass he kicked and how cool he looked making minced meat out of the two most hated Kages in history.

Joining the new and growing Hazama fan club were Ino and Tenten, the blonde speaking "You know… he might have pretty much obliterated our Kage, but that gives him points for what that bastard did to Naruto… Add to that he's well-dressed, talks like a gentleman, some of his jokes while cruel are rather fun and that he has shown he's pretty smart…*Sigh* Why can't there be more guys like him?"

Tenten however had her eyes fixed on the knives "But those weapons… so simple yet so classy, so deadly and at the same time so easy and difficult to manipulate in the way he's handled them…" Yeah, some women have fetishes others don't share.

Jugo meanwhile slowly clapped at his master with a grin on his face for once, around him other genins joined him too, with the obvious exception of the Stone genin and a certain trio from the Leaf. The other spectators joined them into applauding and cheering the grinning blond troll before them. One of the Cloud Chunin who was around, had white hair and a sucker in his mouth approached Jugo "So he's your Kage…? He's freaking strong"

"Terrifyingly so" the giant replied with a nod "He also seems to enjoy it far too much"

"Least he didn't brutalize A-sama like those two geezers… he truly seemed mad at them" the boy reasoned, inquiring an unasked question to the giant who gave him a small smirk.

"Yes, he has his reasons, but don't worry, as you've seen he doesn't have a grudge against your Raikage. In fact he's one of his intended allies"

The boy raised a brow but decided not to ask any questions, however his two female teammates approached Jugo, the dusky skinned redhead asked next "Wait, if he intended to be our ally… why would he attack A-sama like that?"

Jugo shrugged "I certainly have no idea… but I can say one thing for sure: he's too sadistic to let an opportunity to cause pain get away"

Meanwhile, Hinata and 'Sasuke' were trying to remain calm as their faces showed a sour disgust. Meaning, listening to Sakura's bullshit: "That freak's cheating! He has to! There's no way a nobody like him can defeat the Leaf, even less three Kages together!"

*WHAM!*

Hinata, being fed up, easily gave the bitch a chakra-less Gentle Fist palm strike to knock her air out, shut her up and all around stop listening to her so she could start calling bullshit "Your pathetic lies are getting on my last nerve, Haruno. Just because he humiliated you, Kiba and Neji doesn't mean he's a cheater, and you can't lie to the truth: he DID beat those three Kages all by himself without breaking a sweat, using his own power and nothing else… But what would you know of that?" she asked with a gaze colder than any other time "You who'd lie for ego and fantasies, thinking you deserve everything like several others… in short: you're a bitch"

Neji seethed "You bitch, why won't you learn your place? You're no longer a member of the Main Branch and that loser is gone, you no longer have reasons to live! All you're good now is to pop babies for the good of our village and nothing el-"

Strike two!

A lot of hatred had made the bluenette way stronger than before "I don't want to listen to your empty words, Neji. You're once again being proved wrong in believing in fate, I am no longer a weakling nor will I take any punishment from your or father as I made very clear when I beat him to an inch of his life for badmouthing Naruto-kun. So, are you ready to face me knowing I can beat someone MUCH stronger than you without the need of a seal?"

And in a split second, her right heel flew back, landing in Kiba's crotch, said mutt had his shit eating grin while closing in on her. The bluenette just didn't want to hear any more bullshit so she did what she thought best, a nut-shot followed by her flipping backwards while landing a midair kick to the back of a bent-over Kiba with simple ease. How many times had he tried to make her blond love look like a wimp and pathetic man… she had already lost count.

But that's strike three, they're out!

Satsuki, still in disguise, looked away trying to get her own emotions under control… Hinata had long since lost her kindness, far longer had she lost the will to show any other emotion besides her hatred to the Leaf… and the ravenette could do nothing when it was her fault all of this happened. She reached for the cursed seal on her neck, that deprived sick feeling that has haunted her for five years made even more horrible as each second of knowing what that source of twisted power made her do turn into an eternity of suffering. While this was a reminder of her own foolishness she desired nothing more but to get rid of it and never see it again, to forget the pain she caused to the blond knucklehead she learned to love and who both she and Hinata saw turning into something twisted and evil in his last moments… but at least he got the last laugh, quite literally.

Shino, Shikamaru and Chouji however were trying to understand Hazama… until Shikamaru noted something off "Hey, now that I think about it… our Hokage's a moron"

Chouji raised an eyebrow "But we already knew that"

Shino shook his head "Not like that, but Shikamaru-san is right… And thinking of it, we all fell for it"

Chouji raised both eyebrows now "Umm… can I get in the loop, please?"

"And me too?" Lee asked, walking close to them "I have a very… strange feeling about this, I can tell it's going to be bad but for some reason I want to trust Hazama-san… even if he is a bit un-youthful with how he treats his enemies"

XXXXXX

Atop the Kage booth all the shinobi in it were fairly shocked… and their thoughts were basically based by a shouting Kankuro:

"Who… or what the fuck is that strong son of a bitch?" the kabuki puppeteer asked, a finger pointed at the arena where Hazama slowly walked towards what amused him as the Kages and bodyguards in the upper booth had their jaws nearly hitting the ground and several thoughts in their minds… some different, some… random, to be honest:

Gaia – _I can feel something in him, so much hatred… feels also familiar… What's this familiar feeling? Mother… this feels like…_

Shukaku – _Like that blond knucklehead, right? Yes, my child, it is as if this Hazama was made purely out of his rage_

Mei – _This man is either perfect or terrifying, to bring down three Kages like that…To Hell with it, must marry him!_

Temari – _This is plain ridiculous, how strong can that guy be? His power is just… surreal! And why does that sadistic smile look so cool?_

Kurenai – _Thank you, Hazama. I hope now both Azuma and Naruto have a little piece wherever they are…_

Gyuki – _Bee, do me a favor and don't ever rap in front of this man, much less fight him_

Bee – _Agreed_ _on the fighting, but the rapping's staying to thank him for beating up haters_

Yugito – _That was just… heh, good to know there are people who can knock assholes down their high-and-mighty crap_

Nia _– Kitten, stop staring at that ungodly handsome face, he's way outta our league_

Kurotsuchi – _Someone can disobey grandfather? How…?_

Kakashi – _Impossible, how… how… why does that smile make me so angry?_

Jiraiya – _No way, sensei couldn't have lost to that poser! Nor could these sexy ladies fall for him when I'm the pimp of pimps!_ (Yeah, right)

XXXXXX

As Hazama easily threw the Tsuchikage's severed arm as if it were nothing, though with a scoff of disgust, and walked away from a downed Sarutobi he couldn't help but arch a brow at what he was seeing "What in the name of stupidity are you doing?" the ghost asked with some venom in his voice at the bowing Raikage, his knees and head on the ground and his palms in front of his skull, the traditional form of utter respect one can give to a superior.

"I beg of you, Hazama-dono!" A spoke, loud enough for his voice to boom and shock his subordinates at what they heard, their fearsome and fearless leader begging to this man.

"What is it? I don't have much time now" the ghost said with impatience, though shadowing his eyes to hide a certain glint of true glee in them.

"I beg you, please!" A spoke again, not raising his head "Please… help me protect my shinobi! Help me protect those who got a horrible fate due to bad choices and horrible, mistaken mindsets! Please, help me protect my little brother and his fellow Jinchuuriki! You are strong enough to do it better than me, so I beg you! For their sake… take my village under your alliance!"

Sarutobi scoffed "You pathetic excuse of a man! You dare bow to someone who should know his betters? You truly are pathetic if you think he'd-"

"Ok, you're in!"

Now the whole stadium was gaping, even the now sitting Raikage, at how easily the man's mood did a one eighty spin from impatient and grumpy to his usual cheerful and bubbly self. All that A could mutter to say was "What?"

Hazama grinned, he was a troll and he did a good job at being one "I said you're in, I like you" he said, crouching to stand eye-to-eye with the large mass of a man and put a hand on his shoulders "You're respectful, know your betters and while I'd like to troll you for being a submissive bitch…" he trailed off, seeing if the Raikage would answer in any violent form, seeing A was not going to attack him or even thought badly of the insults save for some annoyance, Hazama continued "You did put your subordinates and loved ones above all else, that's what I need! Not a bunch conservative dicks who just want power, I need people with REAL brains"

"Y-You bastard!" Sarutobi roared, spitting blood at the end.

Hazama stood up and walked towards the downed man with his infamous troll-face "Oh, are you mad? Are you?" he asked, enjoying the anger coming from the man "You see, you really are an idiot… the information I said I had could have been a lie"

"WHAT?" the senile leader asked, now understanding…

"Yeah, I could very well have been buffling, and you fell for it, YOU idiot!" the ghost crowed in laughter, making everyone know one thing: never trust this crazy bastard. And THAT, kiddos, is why he is THE God of All Trolling. He deceived five whole nations, fooled their leaders and humiliated them … Truly a troll, mocking them in public while all he said was… the truth "Oh, but what I said wasn't I lie… I know of you, Sarutobi, I know of **all** your dirty little secrets… like this little shit over here!"

No one knew what happened, they just saw as the blond troll shot his hand up to the booth, his Ouroboros flying at the speed of a bullet and a loud yelp of pain from the shadows. Yanking the unlimited chain from its portal as if it were a limb of his own, the ghost reared back none other than Jiraiya from his hiding spot near the Mizukage, who he made his first target when they got the job done. The fall was amplified by Hazama lifting the man sky-high, literally, and then slamming him down and hard. The force left a large crater the size of a house, a broken, beaten and bloody toad sage laying in it.

Sarutobi was now TRULY afraid, more when Hazama laughed "Hehehehahahahahaha! Oh, you are SO predictable, you old fart! Have Jiraiya sneak in, knock out the girls and kill the men in order to force them as sex-slaves to get their ninjutsu's and bloodlines! Wow… have you EVEN heard of originality? Seriously! This stuff is getting old ever since you did the same with Whirlpool, the Mizukage's home by the way until the war, so you could have the Kyuubi for yourself as well as that poor abandoned village's secrets. Problem for you is they were masters of sealing, making it impossible for you to get anything, am I right? Well, am I?"

The crowd, horrified, angered and mostly shocked could do nothing but watch in awe as Hazama had bested Sarutobi in wits with the truth of all things, he hadn't said any lie, just fooled them with vague leads of reality… and because of that Sarutobi made his biggest mistake "So what? We are the ones who deserve the power! We made the shinobi world a better place! We're just taking back what belongs to us!"

"So you had this perverted old bastard betray your friends and allies in Whirlpool" Hazama added, kicking Jiraiya in the head with enough force to shoot the old fart into a wall, leaving him indented in the crushed piece of concrete and Sarutobi widen his eyes "That's right, Sarutobi, I did my research" he added, tapping his head to emphasize his point.

"H-How do you know all of this?" the old monkey asked.

The ghost grinned "Well… I did kill someone dear for you"

Now everyone was truly shocked when Hazama threw a sealing scroll to the floor in front of the Hokage, making Sarutobi face in pure freezing terror Orochimaru's head in a silent cry of pain and agony. Hiruzen was angered now, he never planned to kill Orochimaru, he was far too dear for him and too good at his job, he could have made the Leaf more powerful and that way the old monkey could have had gotten a pardon for the snake man, even making him a Hokage. But that was his blind honor in making the monster he denied himself from truly seeing. And Hazama had killed his mistake.

You'd expect a thank you from normal and sane persons, but when it's the blind and arrogant mind of the leader of the Leaf you get an "I'LL KILL YOU!"

Hazama cackled "Bitch, please!" and proceeded to kick Sarutobi in the face. Then in came the Hokage's loyal mutt, Kakashi, making the ghost laugh louder than usual "And what have we here? Late as always even for your leader, aren't you, doggy? But oh well, I was about to be done warming up. Care to die?"

"The only one who'll die will be you" Kakashi howled in rage as he raised his hand and then lowered it dramatically "EVERYONE, GO! KILL THIS BASTARD AND KIDNAP THE WOMEN!"

…silence…

Oonoki grinned "You brat, that's not how you make an ambush, it's this way: SHINOBI OF THE STONE, KILL EVERYONE AND SUBDUE THE JINCHUURIKI, OUR NEWEST WEAPONS!"

…again with the silence… and Hazama's evil cackling.

"Oh yeah!" he said, snapping his fingers in a faked way to show he just remembered something. He turned to the dog and the ancient Kage with a large grin "By the way, I killed all of your shinobi who were supposed to ambush the Mizukage's country, TRULY a blast for me!" Now all Mist country was angered. Hazama just cackled AGAIN "Well, when killing a spy who has information on a dirty village like the Leaf you expect something like this and to kill the Leaf. But on my way to kill them I also found several shinobi of the Stone in my way… and boy was it fun to make them cry, scream and suffer! Gyahahahahahaha!"

Now all Mist knew the meaning of fear: facing the cruelty of this monster known as Hazama. He shrugged "What? Not like I was going to let them frolic around, doing as they pleased? Man, who's their commander officer anyways? They should be ashamed of how pathetically trained, weak and simply idiotic they all were for putting themselves in pedestals for little to no achievement… oh wait…" eh trialed off, chuckling evilly as he looked at the mutt and the senile man "That's be you two, wouldn't it? Hehehehehahahahahahahaha! Hahahahahaha! Oh dear! This is far better than I expected!"

Power oozed off Hazama, the dark and green ethereal snakes moving around him, snapping their jaws at their prey "So… Raikage-sama, are you in the mood to kill some people? There are some shinobi outside the walls waiting for their orders to kill you and make your brother and that blonde beauty living weapons with no feelings, so wat'cha say for some murdering, huh?"

A grinned as he cackled his knuckles "Hazama-dono, this might be the start of a beautiful friendship"

XXXXXX

As this all happened, Hinata and 'Sasuke' felt something hit them from behind, before both fell to the ground. The genin in the booth looked on in horror as Kiba and Sakura stood behind them with shit-eating grins and special paralyzing seals in their hands. Before anyone could do a thing Neji sneaked behind and paralyzed Lee with his Gentle Fist, letting the martial artist paralyzed from waist down. Before the green clad Chunin could say a thing a razor sharp kunai was put inches from his neck.

"Nobody move or he'll die!" Neji barked.

The other genin were about to strike, had several special Jounin from the Leaf not appeared and subdued them. In the shadows however four individuals were still waiting.

Kiba cackled as he quickly started to take off his pants "Not getting any chances. I'm gonna make you mine one way or another, Hinata-chan" he said with a sickening voice.

Sakura was drooling and trying to undo her 'love's' pants "Yeah yeah, just make sure that she's pregnant so I don't have to worry about her trying to get what belongs to me" she then smiled and more drool fell down her mouth "Oh, Sasuke-kun! Today I shall bare you babi-"

"You… disgusting… degenerate… PERVERTS!"

The dog and the eyesore flew back from two powerful kicks by none other than the ones they were about to rape. Hinata had pure fury in her eyes, the Byakugan on and her hands glowing with chakra as she sneered at the Jounin, Satsuki was colder but the rage could be felt, her right hand was cackling with lightning to indicate she was not going to let anyone go unpunished, and less when she asked "What do you think you're all doing? Who let those two bastards try to hurt Hinata?"

As said before, Hinata meant a lot to the ravenette, even more than her life, so of course her fury made every single of the Jounin wet their pants and back down, the leader speaking "W-Well, Uchiha-sama, since you and the Hyuuga weren't having any child soon the Hokage decided to… sped things up and… hehe… you were supposed to be paralyzed!" the leader shouted in fear, pointing at the disguised ravenette.

Hinata sneered, her palms balling into tight fists "So he decided to sell us to two degenerates who only wanted us as pieces of meat. Let me guess, it was because they wanted to sate Kiba's ego and have Uchiha's regardless of the uselessness of the mother, right?"

Kiba, who groggily started to get up, sneered at the girl "I should have had you! You should be mine for my every whim! Then after I was done all the other girls in here would follow you to make my clan better!"

Now Ino and Tenten understood what Hazama meant about being careful of their own shinobi. However, the only good Leaf shinobi had allies "Let's kill these fuck-heads right now!" shouted an angry and feminine voice.

Following the angry cry, several golden sickles flew from the shadows, nailing the Jounin in their heads, two who were behind Ino and Tenten found a couple of chubby but strong hands grab their skulls and smash them together like ripe melons, then in appeared the Sound Four, only in a different uniform. The males wore military snow-white clothes, even the combat boots were pure white, they had on military vests so they could fight better with their arms and the abilities in them for a certain big round one and the arachnid one, but a large duster covered the twins.

But Tayuya's… it wasn't sure to say if Hazama designed the outfit so she could fight better or entertain him better. Entertain as in she was showing her embarrassment, her rage and figure in a one piece dress with detached sleeves and thigh-high boots. The skirt was short enough to let nothing to the imagination and the dress was tight enough to make it impossible to not know what her figure truly looked like if one could only see under the thing cloth...

Ok, the ghost did it for his entertainment! He's a troll, how many times must we remember that?

"T-The Sound Four? We killed you!" Neji was quick to point the half-obvious.

"We're tougher than we look, ass-cunt" the redhead was quick to insult back "And you, about time you do your fucking job!"

Following her statement the 'genin' that Hazama congratulated changed into their real outfits with a cloud of smoke. Jugo was wearing a large blue sleeveless trench-coat, black cargo pants and blue combat boots. Sui and Karin however were using Tayuya's same dress code, only difference was that Sui's was blue and accentuated her figure, mostly in the tightened chest, and Karin's was black.

Karin nodded to the team and walked off to inform the forces dressed as Jugo and Sui, while the four white-clad shinobi looked at the Leaf, Cloud and Stone shinobi. Jiroubo spoke first "We're no longer the Sound Four, we are known as the Four Judges, servers of Hazama-sama and enforcers of his laws wearing the uniforms of Incorruptible White"

Sui took her turn to speak, brandishing her new sword Kusanagi "But we, the elite force and majors of the Knights of the Blue Flame will kill anyone we're ordered too. We're the main fighting force and are more tha ready to take on you and any other shinobi that are out… Oh, but please do resist, I wanted to try my new gift"

"Hussy" Tayuya said, not bothering to lower her voice.

"Say that again, you redhead bitch!" Sui spat back.

"Fuck yeah I'll say it again and many other times! Why must you get the best presents from the boss?" she roared, taking out her flute.

"Because I am better than you!" the bluenette smirked, aiming her sword at the redhead.

"Wanna back that up, you slag?"

"Bring it!"

"Enough" Jugo plainly said, lifting both by the collars of their dresses, this forcing them to lower their skirts so the perverts didn't see anything "Hazama-sama gave us a mission, and here are our main targets, do NOT do something stupid to make his image look bad or all of us will once again know why it's better not to anger him"

The reminder of the blond ghost's rage was enough to make them nod "Ok"

Shikamaru finally spoke "Someone care to tell me what's going on?" the shinobi turned to him, the lazy boy was sitting and eating chips with Chouji at his side, Shino too sitting peacefully and as silent as ever.

"You're not going to help us?" barked the undignified Sakura, not that she has dignity to begin with.

"You helped put our friend in death row telling everyone lies about him being the worst of the worst" Chouji said, pointing at her.

"You tried to do unspeakable things to a person who truly loved our friend" Shino added, pointing at Kiba.

"You're annoying and I don't like you" Shikamaru added, pointing at Neji, but adding "And you hate our friend because he showed you what a lie you're living in… pathetic and troublesome"

"So… yes!" the three said in perfect unison.

"You guys forget I have a hostage!" Neji roared, making Lee bleed a little.

"And you don't seem to understand you're outnumbered" Satsuki said.

"Y-you're gonna help them?" Sakura stuttered "But Sasuke-kun, I'm here for you ready to give you what you want! I'll even kill for y-"

"Shut up" was the ravenette's cold reply "I am not joining them because of power, I am joining them because I will help those who are going to kill anyone who hurt Naruto-kun"

Ino stepped forward, her arms stretched in a specific hand sign for mind control "Same here, your call. I regret being near Naruto and not helping him out, going with the flow and trying to help you to be a better person, Sakura… I regret that more than anything, I could have helped him had I not put our friendship as the most important, even when you ruined it yourself"

Tenten was next "Much as I hate the Uchiha… he's right, you three hurt Naruto with hatred for no reason. I myself feel horrible for not meeting him before, he was a good person and I admired him when I thought he helped you, Neji. But all you're doing now is spit to his good memory just because of what others think of him"

Lee spoke next "He was the kindest soul in the Leaf, tried to help us to get along with us, to be with us… and you all spat right on his face!"

"Shut up!" Neji roared, about to stab the bowl-haircut kid in the throat, had he not been kicked in the face by a bigger green beast.

"Neji, my disciple… no, you're no longer my disciple, you're just another one of those heartless monsters that are living in the Leaf and making it filthy with your lies and ego" Gai spoke from the bottom of his heart.

The three only Leaf allied shinobi started to feel true fear, no hostage or anything to give them an edge, much more powerful enemies in front of them, out-numbering them AND they all had reasons to kill them. But… "Wait" Tayuya spoke, scratching the back of her head in annoyance "Much as I hate these fuckers… Hazama-sama wants to have the pleasure to kill them. Let them go"

"WHAT?" asked everyone who wasn't under the ghost's command.

"You heard her" Sui said calmly and with a sadistic grin "Hazama wants to be the one to kill them… imagine that sole idea. Hazama, a man who is basically an embodiment of hatred and has destroyed the Leaf's image today, killed all the inside forces of two armies in this country who were trying to ambush three villages in one-go and has defeated three Kages all by himself. Now picture him wanting to take his time when killing someone…"

The idea was well-liked by everyone except the three to be doomed genin, Tayuya kicking Kiba in the nuts when he tried to look up her skirt "So you three better run as fast as you can, because the faster you run, the longer your shitty lives will last before our boss shows you what it means to have your shit fucked up" she said as the mutt rolled on the ground clutching his small, almost non-existent junk.

"W-We will kill him!" Neji roared as he stepped back with Sakura and Kiba in tow "Fate says so, that man shouldn't exist or be more powerful than the Leaf, much less than a Hyuuga prodigy like me! Mark my words… he will die by our hands!" and with that the three ran off.

Shikamaru yawned "Cliché, stupid, annoying and troublesome… how I hate that guy"

XXXXXX

In the booths, two brunette, feral women looked on in shock, amazement and admiration to the green clad man. Tsume and Hana Inuzuka had more than enough reasons to hate the Leaf, however a certain meeting with a spectacled redhead made them smile much more. Following her they were lead to the Kage booth, where the two female Kages and their guardians were about to go down and help Hazama, they arrived right on time before they apprehended Kurenai and actually take her with them to the inner caves of the Mist shinobi's underground facilities were a small army of blue clad men and women, all shinobi under Hazama's orders, were waiting along the shinobi of the Mist and helping them get prepared.

"Hazama-sama spoke about your condition" Karin said as the two feral women followed her "You who are about to truly suffer but know of the Leaf's plans shall be our help with dealing against the Leaf shinobis waiting outside as well as get some revenge on those who you hate"

"Kiba!" Hana shouted, slamming her fist into her palm "When I get that little-"

"Actually, you won't be the one to do any harm to him, at least not if he doesn't think so" Karin said, pointing at a screen showing off how Hazama stood with A at his side and about to battle the two Kages and the mutt.

"To be honest, I do not know how to truly thank Hazama-san" Kurenai said with a faint smile.

"Hopes he kills them good" Tsume sneered. She then hugged herself, trembling in rage and with tears "T-To be seen like food by so many horrible men…I thought I learned to stand it with my late husband but… that old monkey bastard he… and the council…" Kurenai hugged her, letting the poor woman cry into her shoulder.

Hana whimpered a bit, shuddering too "I know… I also want to forget the looks they gave us…"

Karin nodded sympathetically before pointing at the screen "Hazama-sama will take care of that, but first he has a very important announcement to make"

XXXXXX

As the Four Kages, Hazama included, stood before the traitorous duo and the silver-haired man who gaped in shock, back-pedaling in fear, a new black clad member of Hazama's special information forces ran at the green clad man with a camera on his shoulders. Suddenly in the air an image of Hazama's grinning face appeared, transmitting the video of what the ghost would say and do in this very moment, mostly laugh madly like the insane but ridiculously awesome bastard he is.

The Leaf shinobi who were outside, all televisions around the Elemental countries and the entire villages watched Hazama live, atop in the skies and grinning on more large city-sized holographic screens. It was't that hard to make them, just a large labor, but getting some help they were done and nicely put all over the world for this moment.

He took sweet pleasure in lifting Orochimaru's head up by its hair for all to see and then cackle madly "Ladies and gentlemen! I know I have your attention with the death of Orochimaru at my hands! Not only that BUT I was the one who killed him and took his entire village all for myself! I have three Kages behind me who can attest of me being more than capable doing so, mainly because I beat those two and the Raikage!" the camera showed the beaten Hokage and Tsuchikage as well as Jiraiya worldwide, gasps heard all around the world, then turned to the only good Kages, who nodded to say the man was speaking the truth.

"You all must be loving this shit!" the ghost crowed "Ain't the truth something beautiful? It can cause SO much delightful pain! Hahahahaha! Oh, it feels so good when you destroy the lies of the world and beat others with the truth they hide! Hehehehehe! Gyahahahahaha! Doesn't it all feel tiring when the world is nothing but lies, lies, lies, LIES? Well, I grew far too tired of them I changed my name two times. For you al I am known as Hazama, I once lived life as Yuki Terumi… no, no relation to the gorgeous beauty behind me" he said, getting a blush and somewhat disappointed sigh from Mei.

He cackled yet again "I was given a second life as Terumi… I don't know why. I had far too much hatred in me, I didn't want to die and I wanted to kill… but my case was different than others. I wasn't killed because of crimes I committed, I was killed because of others' mistakes. Knowing this I didn't allow myself to die and arrived to another world… It turns out I actually became an embodiment of pure raw rage, a ghost even… Hehehe! Funny how the universe works when you're punished for so many wrongs… And what were those wrongs? Well… you might need to know this"

He put Orochimaru's face in front of the camera "This bastard ruined my life along many others… Before I was Yuki Terumi I was the one who stopped his plans to kidnap a friend of mine and use his body as a vessel for sick experiments, twice! Then I got punished for a non-existent crime because I hurt said vessel when my orders were clearly to use any force necessary to bring back my friend… and then I was killed by the very same bastard who hated me all along and tried to turn me into a weapon… Hehehehahahahaha! What's the matter, Sarutobi? You look as if you've seen a ghost!"

Not only was Hiruzen scared shitless, but the whole world was too "Y-you… you are…"

"Yes!" Hazama hollered "FINALLY you can use your brain for something! Bravo! Hahahaha! Yes, I am! Now say it! Cry my name in hatred! I want to hear you scream and cry in pure despair now! Say it… SAY IT!"

"U-Uzumaki… NARUTO!" the old monkey roared, charging at the madman who cackled.

"You got it in one go! Bravo, chimpy!" Hazama laughed, clapping, before his eyes darkened "But now… it is my turn to make the rules here"

*BOOM!*

The Hokage stopped dead in his tracks looking at what the camera was focused now: a large cloud of smoke coming from the distance… where moments ago was his entire army. Hazama clapped merrily "Yes! Fireworks surely liven up my day! Especially when killing liars! Hahahahahaha! Oh this is such a riot!"

A pale Hiruzen turned to look at Hazama "What did you…?"

The ghost's eyes shone with pure evil "I killed most of your army along with the Tsuchikage's, but MY army is ready to take out whatever survivors there are… so, feel like running away now? I want you to live in shame, knowing I got the best of you… for now. Because sooner or later I will kill you oh so deliciously slow" Then, he just had to do what he did best in this moments: laugh.

Oh, today was a good day to be a laughing mass-murdering psychopath.

**XXXXXX**

**And done! Sorry it's shorter than the previous one, but the next chapter will be a nice reward when answers are given as well as punishment and-**

(Meanwhile, in Kagutsuchi's Sector 7)

"N-No way… that bastard… that fucking bastard's STILL alive!"

**Well, let's just say Hazama is gonna have company who have a LOT of reasons to hate his guts. Now tell me, am I good at Trolling 101 or what?**

**Swordslinger out!**


	5. Chapter 5

I OWN NOTHING, if I did the battle at the VoTE would have started with Sasuke revealing to be a chick, Hinata would have made advances on Naruto and show a badass side and Naruto would have turned into a true badass… But sadly, Masashi just HATES female characters and wants Naruto to be stuck as a punching bag. Are you mad, bros? I bet you are…

**XXXXXX**

How it truly started

"D-Da-Damn…DAMN YOU **ALL**!"

Atop a big, snowy mountain the half-naked figure shouted at the top of his lungs in the middle of a snowstorm… then it collapsed to the ground in exhaustion. However, a certain individual had seen, heard and found the figure of a… strange looking boy: he was naked, had a deep gash in his chest from a stab and his hair was just plain out weird… it seemed to be changing colors like some radioactive hair dye.

(Note: this is non-cannon to the Blazblue-verse's plot; this is a spin-off for me to explain how Terumi was Naruto and what he sacrificed to become who he is.)

Moments later, Naruto Uzumaki woke up with a loud "Achoo!" in the middle of a cave. It was illuminated by a fire near him, and his nude body was covered by soft fur blankets from weird beasts that felt as comfortable as the richest of silk. He looked atop the fire to a cauldron of soup that smelled good, but he was not hungry. He stared emptily at his hands, before clutching them into fists. How furious was he, despite getting the last laugh in the face of that traitorous old monkey after all the lies he took… the lies, the horrible, damnable lies, all the truth hidden from him just so he was a weapon… Lies… Lies, lies, lies… All of it was nothing but fucking LIES!

"Whoa, easy there, fella! You're bleeding!"

Naruto managed to snap out of his hate filled trance to look at his nails digging deep into the palm of his hands, the sheer anger made him ignore the pain as he tightened his grip until he dug his nails deep into his flesh. It hurt, like hell, but that didn't matter. He was now staring at a… strange individual. Individual as in the being before him was actually a talking CAT! It walked on its hinder legs, had on a good looking and somewhat badass yellow cloak, two nodachis strapped to his back, two black, white-tipped tails and his voice was gruff and manly.

The supposedly executed demon container did the only reasonable thing, he screamed, crawled until his naked back touched the cold as ice rock wall and then screamed from the cold touch on his bare skin before burrowing himself once again in the fur blankets.

Watching this strange behavior was the weirded out cat, who held up both his front paws in a calming manner and spoke up, "Calm down, kid. I ain't gonna hurt ya and I sure as hell ain't dangerous… to you, anyways. Or what, yer scared of cats? I do train here, but I don't think I ever did something to scare a lad like ya."

The boy managed to find his voice while focusing on regaining heat, "J-Just n-n-never saw one that c-could t-talk… Geesh, isn't there a-any good h-hot soup?" he stuttered due to the cold making his teeth move up and down in a rhythmic fashion, "I could do with ramen better or at least an ingredient."

"Well, all I've got that ain't frozen is some boiled eggs, kiddo. Soup should be done soon, tho." the cat replied, approaching the kid some steaming shells.

"T-That'll do, old man." the boy said, cracking one egg open before eating it. Getting killed sure did open an appetite… or is it really being killed? What was it that happened to him and how the hell did he end up butt-naked in a snowstorm, then in a cave and facing a two-leg walking and talking cat? But the most important question was, "Don't you have any clothes for me? I'm having my ass freezing like a popsicle."

"Geesh, kid, manners wouldn't kill ya!" replied the annoyed cat, but he nonetheless tossed the boy a pair of black pants, making the kid arch a brow to which the cat replied, "That's all I got, t'was supposed ta be a present for an old pal of mine, a werewolf called Valkenhayn, but yer needing it much more than that guy. Or what, gonna make fun of how I got no pants?"

Naruto made the mental note to investigate where the hell he was if there was such a thing as werewolves as he sighed before putting on the pants, feeling finally warmer, "That's better, thanks, old man"

"Hey, name's Jubei, brat!" retorted the very annoyed cat, "And what about ya? Yer just in the snow, in yer birthday suit and half dead. What the hell happened to ya?"

Naruto looked at his chest, it seemed this Jubei guy- err… cat? Persona? Individual seemed good enough for now. Whatever, the feline had healed him, several bandages over his now clean chest signaled he had been taken care of from a mortal wound, which had also been cleaned, and that he was somewhat still alive wherever here was. Also, he might as well admit he was nowhere near the Leaf… not that it was a bad thing. However, there were some downs in that…

'_Hinata, Satsuki… All the lies I faced and those two are future victims for them… Argh! I should have tried to do something better than making them fake they're a couple! They're still in danger so long as they live in a place so disgustingly made of lies!_'

"Whoa, kid! What's the matter? Black not yer color?" Jubei asked, noting Naruto's anger.

"No… actually, I do like black… and blue… and white." he said, remembering the eye and hair color of the two girls who showed him a lot of love in his final moments.

"Umm, sure, whatever ya say, kid… So, what's yer name? I've already given ya mine, but yer free to keep yer things for yerself and go wherever ya want, kiddo." the smaller feline said, walking to the cauldron and putting some soup and peeled boiled eggs in a bowl for the blond.

Naruto thought it well; to give his name and actually get in trouble since this cat could be a ninja cat, some familiar or summon that Itachi Uchiha could get info from and then have Akatsuki after his hide. He thought of what to say… before watching he snow, "Yuki…"

"Huh?" asked the now confused Jubei.

"My name's Yuki… Yuki Terumi." he added the last part, remembering having heard that name from someone pervertedly talking about some gorgeous lady and how fun it'd be to have her in the Leaf, probably either Kakashi or, most likely, Jiraiya.

How he hated their lies, how he hated the life they had give him… his name was basically a lie with how he had been attached to it in order for them to make it easier for anyone to know how to make his life much more miserable. If anything, his name of Naruto Uzumaki was a life, they called him that but all they meant was 'You're a demon and you deserve to die'. He wished nothing but to destroy all those lie, to get a name that actually felt real, that didn't tie him up as a weapon for them to use… Everything in his life had been nothing but fallacies, ever since he was born and given that name.

Jubei looked at the young boy before him, sensing the rage but actually noting it was directed at whoever made him suffer like he did. Sympathizing, the cat man sat beside the oy and ate another bowl of soup with boiled eggs with him, "Well, Terumi… If ya got nothing better ta do, how about ye accompany me home? I could introduce ya to my wife and some of my friends who might be capable of helping ya out with whatever happened in the snow."

For once, Naruto had on a true and genuine smile, "Thanks… pal."

XXXXXX

Years had passed by, Naruto had adopted completely the name of Yuki Terumi and learned a lot from Jubei and others, how this strange and new world worked, swordsmanship lessons from Jubei was truly an improvement to his strength and what other species existed in this world fascinated him. There were vampires, werewolves and even magicians. None of them knew of chakra… and now it seemed he had none left, being killed had messed him up: his whisker birthmarks had vanished, his eyes had turned golden and slit with the pass of time and his hair had fallen flat on his scalp in a mop haircut and had shades that were getting greener and greener. It also seemed his body was changing as well, no more ramen and a diet of boiled eggs – coincidentally a ramen ingredient – made him lose a lot of fat and get quite skinny.

He had lived with Jubei, his wife and kid. But most of his time he spend studying ways to get back to his home, he hadn't told them the entire story, but since he hated lies with a passion he had been honest and told them the most important part: some bastards lied to him, took everything he ever held dear and then stabbed him to kill him because they were assholes. He skipped any further details and made it known he didn't wish to explain anything else. So far, he actually enjoyed this life, except for a certain hunger for punishment.

He was currently in a meadow, sitting beneath the shade of a tree in a coffee table while reading a good book. He was also deep in his thoughts, '_How to kill them… How to get back home and save my friends… What shall I do to make them pay and keep the others safe?_'

Then his thoughts died the instant a small rubber ball smashed the tea and cookies off his table. He sneered, angrily closing the book with a loud smack and glaring impatiently at the culprit. Might this author add, the former blond boy's tastes had changed along with his body: he wore a pair of stylish black dress pants, matching shoes, a white buttoned, golden trimmed dress shirt and a black cravat. He was currently in his late teens, or so he thought, his body had started to change the instant he arrived but he calculated to be in his nineteen years of age.

The culprit, who held once again her ball, was a small cat-girl: two ears atop her hair, pink hair and fur, two white-tipped tails like her father's and golden eyes staring innocently at the tall man before her. She had on a white coat like her dad's cloak, save for the hood, and wore red shorts.

"I'm sorry, Uncle." the girl squeaked behind her ball, making past Hazama sigh.

"Just go play with your mommy, Kokonoe. Uncle Terumi needs to study some more." the man replied as he cleaned the table and reopened his book, only to feel the small girl's hands tug his pants, "What is it now?"

"Umm, mommy and daddy are out so… Could you come with me to buy candies?" the girl asked looking at him with hope.

"Didn't yer mom tell you that candies will ruin yer teeth? Oh dang it! Now you got me talking like the old man!" Terumi sighed, closed the book, massaged his scalp and let a large sigh out, "Why do you even want them, anyways? Shouldn't you be studying magic to be like your mommy?"

The little girl gave him a toothy grin, "But I already do well, I've passed all of my testes and am top of my class. Not only that, but I've saved enough money for a lot of lollipops. So since it's my money I won't get in trouble if I spend it in candies, or even better, Ferrero Rocher chocolates!"

The addiction of this kid to sugar was bigger than his addiction to ramen, which now passed to be an addiction to the thing he enjoyed the most from a bowl of those salty noodles: the boiled eggs. He loved how the miso ramen would give a good flavor to the egg right to its center before he munched on it at Ichiraku's. Sadly, he wouldn't get another chance to taste that recipe… And now he lost his train of thought as he investigated the theories of time travel and the basics of magic and engineering, whichever of the three could take him to the Leaf to destroy it would make him equally happy.

He tossed the book back in his chair, but little Kokonoe, curious as cats are, opened it, "Wow, Advanced Time and Spade Theories? Uncle Terumi, you're really smart!"

True, being hungry to get back at someone made him study a lot, with no powers, no chakra left and only his intellect the former assassinated young man studied his butt off to find a way to kill entire nations as well as a way to get back to his own, and then do the obvious genocide. When the heart's hungry, the brain can be ridiculously hungry as well for methods to calm the rage in the heart.

XXXXXX

Traveling to the city with Kokonoe was somewhat fun, the girl did talk a lot about candies and what she studied, which surprised Terumi since the girl was hot on his heels in the studying the impossible department. Truly a genius, hard to believe a man… err, cat like Jubei could have such an intelligent daughter when he was more brawns than anything, albeit with skills, and he truly needed to learn how to speak better than a samurai stereotype. But it was still fun for some reason.

The two walked a few miles to the train station, all the way people spoke about Kokonoe, how obviously different she was from them only to shut up when Terumi glared at them. The little cat girl smiled whenever she noted how her 'uncle' made the mean people who called her freak or other much more hurtful words back away in fear. Once out of their wagon Terumi noted the small girl clutching his side. Now experienced, he recognized a crush when he saw one. A bit of nostalgia washed over him, if only he hadn't been fooled by those idiots and their lies about greatness… would he have had a chance to be happy with one girl at least?

Kokonoe, while sweet now, emphasis on "now", was a very cynical girl when need arose or she wanted to be like that… And somehow he liked that in her, but she was FAR younger than he was and even if no one would give him credit in his previous life, the fallen hero had morals. If she were older he'd think about it, but she was the daughter of the cat who gave him a place to live and the woman who took him in as a part of their family.

He could only sigh, "Here, you little fur ball." he said in a half-grumpy, half-caring tone as he grabbed the girl by her coat and put her on his shoulders. The rest of the trip to the candy shop was fun for the little cat girl to say the least.

They arrived at a small candy shop in the large district, all of it surrounded by metal and things the blond never thought could exist in any world. In the counter he found a new and somewhat pleasant acquaintance he had made in his time here. He was a tall man, dressed in a white dress shirt, a red vest with golden chains and buttons keeping it closed, olive green pants, black dress shoes and a red ribbon to keep tied a long black ponytail… he could also use a shave, badly in the young man's opinion.

"Valkenhayn? The hell are you doing here?" Terumi asked, making the elder man turn to him with a polite smile.

"Ah, Mr. Yuki. I see you brought little Kokonoe too." the gentleman said with a polite up-straight position, being an embodiment of good manners, "Well, to answer your, while a bit rude, question, I am here in regards of the Madam to fetch her some of her favorite candies"

"That vampire brat?" Yuki asked with a raised brow, "I still don't get how you obey a kid like that… She could show some more respect to her elders since she's a noble."

Valkenhayn grimaced a bit at the true of his friend's words, "Well, she is still my mistress' daughter, may God rest her soul. However, milady's grace and beauty is as elegant and dignified as her mother's, truly making it an honor for me to work for the Alucard family even if in your eyes she might be a, as you said, brat… And I'd advice against that term or any other against Madam Rachel."

Noting the edge promising pain the blond nodded, "Ok, ok… geesh, take a chill pill and relax. If you just blindly follow orders… what's in it for you?" he asked with true curiosity, remembering the shitty times when he saw a ninja dying to keep someone alive just because of duty or honor.

However, Valkenhayn smiled more, "I am delighted to be how I am. The Alucard family has been far too good and caring to me since my younger days, I couldn't thank them enough."

"Or maybe I could ask where your late mistress kept the whips and oil." Terumi said with a sinister smile, making Valkenhayn blush horribly and inadvertently crush the bag of chocolates ha had just bought.

"Oh… Terumi! I shall get you for this, I swear it over my very soul, for the candies of milady!" the werewolf said, dumping the chocolates into a now smiling Kokonoe's face before buying new ones and be off.

Terumi waved, "Sure, sure… I'll pay ya a visit, and that chibi vampire too."

"I'll keep the tea warm for you." Valkenhayn said with a heavy and weary sigh before finally stepping out of the door.

"Uncle Terumi, what was that about whips and oil?" the cute cat-girl asked, munching on the chocolate she had been given by the flustered butler.

The blond said the truth, "It's something I use to annoy your dad and other grown men like him who like to be far too obedient to strong women like your mommy or that vampire bunny."

"Ok…" Kokonoe said as she tried her best to understand it, then gave up and walked to the counter, depositing a large handful of coins with a smile, "I want as much Ferrero Rocher chocolates and lollipops as I can get with this!"

The shopper turned to look at Kokonoe with a smile at first, thinking of nothing but money from a kid… until watching her cat traits. He sneered at the kid, "Beat it, ya freak! I don't need no stinkin' animal stench in mah shop from the likes of freaks of nature like you and those beastkins!" To say he was rude was an understatement, he added hand motions to signal he disliked even her smell and added more to make her know he'd even hit her if she didn't get out of there now.

Bad choice of words and actions when in front of a guy who suffered the same, "Hey, old fart! Care to repeat that?" Terumi grabbed the man by his shirt's collar with one hand, the other on the back of the man's head. In an instant the racist shopper's head slammed his counter with enough force to break his nose. Terumi kept the pressure up as he spoke, "Now, the kid asked for candy… she may have lacked some manners like a high class lady, but she is willing to pay. Now, unless you want me to force-feed all of your rotten shit you'll give her some candies!"

"U-Uncle Terumi, you're hurting him!" Kokonoe cried, tugging on his pants' leg uselessly.

"C'mon, ya old fart! Where's the attitude? Ain't ya gonna try to force us out like you did before? Are you all bark and no bite? Because I can bark loud and bite way harder!"

"P-Please… you're hurting me!" the man pleaded, but Terumi was still pissed.

"Oh, like your words didn't hurt Kokonoe, you bastard!" Terumi roared in rage, pulling out a butterfly knife and attempting to stab the man… until he finally heard it: crying. Kokonoe, she was crying.

"U-Uncle T-Terumi, please… Don't hurt him…" the small girl actually begged him with tears all over her face. Terumi's heart got cold; the knife fell from his hand into the floor as he clutched his face with one hand, trying to regain his thoughts as the shopper backed into a corner.

The young man's mind was almost in a blank, '_S-Shit… I actually felt myself losing it… I wanted to… to kill so much, to listen to him squeal like a pig… Is my bloodlust seriously this fucked up? Has all that rage from the Leaf and towards that shithole made me this… angry? Fuck… I even made Kokonoe cry…_'

Terumi finally gathered his thoughts, "Kokonoe… just grab your candies… I'm ok now… I was just… angry. I didn't want to hear you cry because of stupid hatred… sorry…"

"I-It's ok, Uncle Terumi…" the small cat girl said, whipping the tears off her face and looking at her now calmer crush. He extended a hand to her, which she accepted. Moments later, both walked out of the shop, Terumi paid for the girl's candies and the damages, though it was sure as hell the shopper wouldn't try any racist crap with how terrified he was now.

XXXXXX

Kokonoe was asleep in her bed, having had Terumi singing her a very bad but sort of funny lullaby that helped her sleep and forget what happened. She knew that her uncle loved her, maybe not in the way she loved him but it was alright for her that he did love her as much as her daddy and mommy did.

By the time the girl had fallen asleep Terumi walked to a dark portal that appeared in his favorite place in the meadow, beneath his favorite tree's shadow. Once he walked in and past it, he entered a large garden of roses. Behind the large garden was a Halloween-esque castle with pumpkins as part of the large towers' design, complete with creepy fences and dark skies with red moon. There was also a tea table with a highly expensive tea set atop. There sat a girl who looked little over the age of ten and dressed in Victorian-styled clothes, she had a pair of black ribbons that looked a lot like rabbit ears holding her ankle length pigtails.

This was Rachel Alucard in her several centuries old glory. Despite her young appearance she was quite powerful by using magic, which Terumi made several days of non-stop research in if it allowed him to fight off bastards like the petit girl could, or do so even better.

She nodded politely at him, but keeping a stoic, aristocratic air and expression on her face typical of a very well-mannered and trained noble, "Seems you accepted Valkenhayn's challenge, boy."

Indeed, the elder man was adjusting a pair of leather gloves on his hands at the other side of the garden, opposite where Yuki stood, both men in a concrete path so they didn't step on the precious flowers as the girl sat near them in first row seats for the fight. Terumi grinned evilly, fighting felt like a good way to let his rage out, at least it served to keep the steam out and his bloodlust under a better control than what he did today.

(Hours of epic battle later that this writer was too lazy to write since you all can watch a Hazama vs. Valkenhayn video and put some imagination. That and, a stated before, I am lazy as hell right now.)

Panting echoed in the silence after the battle.

"Not bad… for a kid…"

"Not bad… for an old fart…"

"Say that again!" both en shouted, only to cringe in pain. Terumi's cravat was kissed goodbye, Valkenhayn had a bloody lip from one of Terumi's knives when the greenish-blond decided to play dirty and both their clothes were carrying some cuts, nothing that couldn't be easily fixed. They also carried bruises, a lot of them. They were about to have round two, until a new voice arrived.

"Fufufu… You were right, Lady Rachel… He is a bit too impatient." Said a female voice that sat beside Rachel.

"Yuki Terumi, allow me to present you to an old friend of mine, Trinity Glassflied." Rachel said with elegance as she sipped her dark tea.

Trinity was a young woman with blonde, curly, medium-length hair, green eyes, and round glasses in front of a round and cute face. She wore a Magic Guild uniform, a basic sailor uniform but with some elegant touches and a very short skirt, with a loose long light blue ribbon tie, a yellow coat with hood, black tights, and black slippers. She had a sizable bust as well. In fact… she pretty much looked like she'd be his and Hinata's daughter had any of them green eyes.

He felt… at ease? Relaxed? Why did that giggle sound so cute? Why did he want to know if Hinata, Satsuki or even his Granny had a cute laughter like that? Why was he already sitting with her? How did he start conversation without knowing it? What on the universe made him pay attention to her and only her? Didn't he have any other better things to do such as planning the genocide of a village's traitorous scum?

"So, I heard you are into magic, Mr. Terumi." The girl stated, not asked.

He nodded, being for some reason professional and without blushing despite how uncomfortable he felt the entire time he was sitting, "What of it?" he asked, peacefully drinking orange juice, it wasn't he had a thing against tea but Rachel was very picky with them so he asked Valkenhayn for something easier to get… Not that it mattered that Trinity ordered the same.

She smiled at him, "Well, I have considered what Lady Rachel told me of your studies and how advanced you are from normal people. So, I was considering, would you like to join me in the Guild? We could use someone as good as you to develop new arts."

He turned to Rachel, "What's your part on this, chibi vampire?"

She frowned at the name but answered nonetheless, "Both Jubei and I have been wondering of what your research is for, but since you've shown to have a good reason for it in your actions rather than the non-given story behind it, I'd like to help you and see where this is going."

Terumi looked at her with a frown of his own, "I could very well seek the death of the ones who ruined my life."

She nodded, "If that were so, it would have been done a long time ago. Why, you have lived with us for far too much time yet wherever those people are is still unknown to even you." She then smiled politely at him, "So, I am guessing you actually want a way to return to your own home."

He nodded, "Not that it makes me happy, but that's my idea, yes."

Trinity smiled at him before standing up and tugging his arm, "Then come with me, I will help you as best I can, Mr. Terumi… Hey, you kinda look like that name doesn't fit you." She stated, tilting her head to the said cutely as she looked at him, all the while pulling him off the table to a suddenly shocked Rachel's surprise who watched them walk quickly to the portal… well, Trinity was, Terumi was just getting dragged.

He groaned in mild annoyance, at least the girls who kissed hi showed some restraint… until kissing him, "Ok, ok, call me whatever you want! I don't care so long as I get to have my arm back, it's going numb, you airhead."

Instead of showing anger, Trinity giggled, "Well, okay! Hmm, how about I call you…"

(Years later.)

"Hazama!"

The now completely green haired former Uzumaki Naruto groaned as he pulled a pillow off his head and stretched. He had been studying all night in his new home: a small apartment paid by the Magic Guild. He was far too valuable for them, a great mind who hungered for magic never told or thought of before. He was actually sitting on a table; his face had been on a large tome of magic and its theories of time and space. Heh, who'd have known magic also had physics? But when it came to research, Terumi did it all to make sure he could return to the time of his death and make sure that after he was stabbed everyone in there suffered, a lot.

Then again, the thought of bringing company was always there… Thanks to the young woman who had been loudly knocking his door to wake him up.

"I'm comin', I'm *Yawn* comin', Trinity…" he said once getting the sand off his eyes, which were getting sharper by the moment.

He was still wearing his uniform from the Guild: black dress pants, brown dress shoes, a white dress, buttoned shirt, a black ribbon tied around the collar and while he was supposed to wear a vest or a coat he used a large black cloak like a cape on his shoulders. When around town people who recognized him by his trends or appearance would say hello due to his slightly big fame in magic.

So here he was, in Kagutsuchi.

The moment he opened the door, however, he was tackled to the ground by Trinity and hungrily kissed on the lips by the cheerful, happy girl. He struggled to keep his balance due to his lack of sleep. His legs ended up giving in to the girl's weight, who was hanging from his neck with her arms as her legs were curled up in the delight of kissing her boyfriend… Little Kokonoe, who wasn't so young anymore, wasn't that much happy with the news.

So now, here laid Yuki "Hazama" Terumi with a beautiful girl atop his unconscious form… For being so small Trinity had a lot of power in her strength.

XXXXXX

Sadly for the former demon container, a certain shadow watched it all with a large smirk, "Hohoh… To think such a man with so much power and rage can exist when all of that hatred should burn his soul… Well, it's not like he actually DOES exist… At least not yet. It all shall be completed once I can get to make a perfect puppet for him. Alas, the art to make the perfect doll has yet to be perfected… But I bet he'll be willing when discovering what lies are still hidden from him… Uzumaki Naruto, Yuki Terumi, Hazama… Call yourself what you want, soon we shall work together for our ambitions. The delight to make the perfect puppet is all that matters to me, after that you can have my head for all I care! Hahahaha… AHAHAHAHA!"

**XXXXXX**

**Oh dear. I am enjoying far too much epic cliffhangers! So yes, this and the next chapter explain how Naruto turned from himself to Hazama via a LOT of hatred. Why? Because I love Hazama despite him being a magnificent bastard and an even more magnificent troll, I mean, he does his stuff with so much style NO man could EVER achieve! So at least to explain in the best of Blazblue's plot-hole:**

"**It's yet another one of the many possibilities of the Continuum Shift."**

**So, what happens when the TRUE beginning is forgotten and a man has to go through insanity and a lot of pain to have his revenge to save those he loves? What can be consider revenge when he wants to save those who loved him in the center of all hatred even if it means losing new friendships? And WHY did it happen?**

**Kishimoto, eat your heart out, this is HOW revenge is done!**

**Swordslinger out!**


End file.
